I just realized that tiramisu is mostly air. Yeah, it is most definitely mostly air. The pastry cream is whipped egg yolks, whipped sugar syrup, whipped cheese, and whipped cream. The ladyfinger cookies are whipped egg yolks and whipped egg whites. And yet somehow they hold their shape. That, in and of itself, is wholly amazing to me.

Oh, and by the way, tiramisu means "pick-me-up", referring to the coffee and chocolate components, of which both are bearers of that coveted molecule, caffiene.

¶ 9:51 PM 0 comments

The fact is slowly sinking in that I am no longer an engineer by occupation. I can start saying to people that I'm a pastry chef. Because I am. I am not an engineer. I was an engineer in a past life. In this life, I am a pastry chef.

My family has finally come to terms with this fact as well. Over the weekend I think was the first time I have ever heard my father say, "It's your life; it's your decision." Ever. I was very surprised by that. Of course he also said that about my new PowerBook. I still think though that deep down he and my mother doubt that I can be successful at this. If anything, that's more incentive for me to prove them wrong.

I'm so far in now that I can't fail. Failure is not an option. Not that I would ever let myself fail. Because this isn't just my livelihood, but the fate of a coffee shop depends on me and my kitchen crew, and my ability to deliver baked goods effectively and efficiently. Woah.

Nah, it's really not that bad. But there is a lot of personal growth potential out there for me. For example, I have no earthly idea how to run a bakery. I know how to teach freshmen how to march in step and play an instrument simultaneously. I'm hoping those skills are transferrable.

I kind of chuckle to myself when I imagine what my resume is going to look like in a couple of years.

¶ 8:59 PM 1 comments

January: A kick in the pants.

February: A dear friend went away.

March: I like spring.

April: One chapter begins...

May: ...as another nears the end.

June: Life moves ahead.

July: Life moves faster.

August: A first taste of the future.

September: Some things get worse...

October: ...While other things get better.

November: Leaping head-first...

December: ...Landing in freedom.

¶ 7:36 PM 0 comments

Premature? No.

I am badgeless, keyless, and computerless; effectively naked. Here's to freedom.

These are the last bits I will be sending on the network cable from my office. Today, I had my exit interview with my manager, and we went over some checklists and paperwork. I signed a couple of documents, updated my contact information, and voila! Freedom is at hand.

Still nervous? Most definitely. But at least I don't have to worry about coming here anymore. Next step: get the bakery business going.

¶ 10:56 AM 3 comments

I have one day left in this radiation-saturated, carcinogenic laboratory.

I feel a little better. I think I'm just dehydrated. I drank 2 liters of water last night after I got home, then I drank 2 more this morning while at the coffee shop. Unfortunately, I left my water bottle in the car as I sit here wiping hard disks. I guess I could run down and get it.

Today, I'm sending my desktop machines to the IT guys for storage, and an old laptop to surplus. I'm having fun writing zeros to all the hard disks. It's kind of like closure. I don't need any of these carefully arranged magnetic bits anymore, so I line them all up in the same direction.

Nervous? Most defintely. The uncertainty has my stomach all tied up in knots. "What if I'm making a mistake?" "What if it doesn't work out?" "What if I'm doing the wrong thing?" I have a tendency to second-guess myself, and if there's anything that I should second-guess, this should be it. Too late to back out now. I'm committed up to my eyeballs. Hopefully I'm not in over my head.

¶ 1:52 PM 0 comments

I have two days left in this claustrophobic, headache-inducing prison.

I've had a headache for the last few days. I hope I'm not getting sick. I think I might be dehydrated. I need to drink more water.

Today, I recycled 97% of the papers and documents in and around my desk. I started loading personal effects into a box to take home. I had my last weekly project status conference call (it's about time that's done!), and I blew off one last item of work.

All in all, it's been a pretty good day.

¶ 2:42 PM 1 comments

I have three days left in my cold, sterile, monochrome office at unnamed technology company.

Today, I'm dishing out my desktop boxes to anybody who wants them. The item of choice, apparently, is my three-year-old 19-inch flat CRT monitor. I've had three people so far come by to lay claim. But alas, there can be only one. The consolation prize is a 19-inch almost-flat CRT monitor. The third guy is just out of luck.

The two boxes are quite nice: 1.8 GHz and 2.4 GHz Pentium4s. The 1.8 has been a very faithful and resilient Linux box for the last three years. The 2.4 has been a flaky Windows 2000/XP box for the last two years. You do the math.

¶ 2:07 PM 0 comments

And it's mine... all mine. Bwahahahaahahaa!

¶ 8:04 PM 2 comments