Buffer Overrun

It's Finally Happened

2008-10-13T14:40:00.002-05:00

It had to happen sooner or later. It was unavoidable. It's only natural. I am finally surrounded by Creatives.

I got a new job in the Marketing Department at internet services company, which was bought by international computer conglomerate earlier this year. Internet services company has been in the throes of rebranding its entire product line to that of international computer conglomerate ever since. My new job is as a web developer for the Marketing Department, building code for websites and e-mail campaigns, and helping support the Sales Department.

I feel at home being surrounded by Creatives. The entire Marketing Department is full of Creatives. It's like coming home to the mothership. Sure, there's all the stress of business (deadlines, product launches, partnerships, etc), but so far it's all offset by the creative aspect.

I'm a Creative, even though I do Logical things. But even in the midst of Function, Form prevails.

Yep.

2008-08-13T16:35:00.004-05:00

Yep. :-D

Oh, dear golly...!

2008-08-08T11:39:00.001-05:00

X-Games has nothing on systems administration. Nothing. It should be an Olympic sport.

When you're dealing with a mission critical server farm, you have to have excellent hand-eye coordination, manual dexterity, mental fortitude, physical agility, and an extremely fit cardio-pulmonary system. Because when the server goes down, the gloves come off, and the wrist support brace goes on.

As an adrenaline junkie, I rather enjoy the rush. Survival mode kicks in. My heart starts racing. My breathing increases. My eyes go into tunnel vision. I'm typing so fast by fingers can barely keep up. Then there are the obstacles in this technological steeplechase: the phone calls ("The server's down!"), the mysterious problems ("Why do I have two database processes now?!"), the imminent danger ("Every minute we're down costs thousands of dollars!"). I jump over, dodge around, duck under. All in pursuit of the ultimate prize: a well-oiled, fully-functioning server.

But all athletes must retire sometime. The body and psyche can only go so far before fatigue, and even chronic injury, sets in. (More on this later.)

Amy's Song

2008-04-29T12:27:00.000-05:00

Amy's gone
And time rolls on
How far? how fast? how long?

The last time we saw Amy
She was headed for the shore
Fighting off the volatile gray skies
She said now begins forever
And that no one knows their time
We bid farewell not knowing
That might be our last goodbye

Amy was a fighter
She cut like Cassius Clay
She burned like a fire
Despite these rains
Where time was a question
She only knew one song
She's singing, "How far, how fast, and how long?"

Salvation is a fire
In the midnight of the soul
It lights up like a can of gasoline
Yeah, she's a freedom fighter
She's a stand up kind of girl
She's out to start a fire
In a bar code plastic world

Amy was a fighter
She cut like Cassius Clay
She burned like a fire
Despite these rains
Where time was a question
She only knew one song
She's singing, "How far, how fast, and how long?"

When everything stops moving
And I stop to catch my breath
And ride my train of thought
All the way round
My thoughts return to Amy
And the fire she's begun
She came when we were freezing
And left us burning up

Amy was a fighter
She cut like Cassius Clay
She burned like a fire
Despite these rains
Where time was a question
She only knew one song
She's singing, "How far, how fast, and how long?"

[Switchfoot, "Amy's Song", 1999]

Jingles

2007-10-31T10:19:00.000-05:00

Whatever happened to the television advertisement jingles, those little 3-second tidbits that get stuck in your head for a whole day -- or two? These days, you hear contemporary music on top of some fancy-schmancy graphics or computer effects. Whatever happened to "Frosted Lucky Charms, they're magically delicious"? Or "My Buddy, My Buddy, wherever I go heee goes"? Or "We're American Airlines, something special in the air"? If you're my age or older, chances are you heard those jingles in your head as you read them.

Then I have to wonder what happened to all those now-unemployed jingle writers. What are they doing now? Are they passing on the lost art of Jingle Writing? Are they teaching it to the next generation of jingle writers? Are they flipping burgers at the burger joint on the corner, humming catchy little tunes incessantly to the sizzle of fake meat?

Breathe!

2007-10-12T09:22:00.000-05:00

Now that I actually have a chance to stick my head above water to breathe, I will.

It's been, oh, about 4 months since I last blogged (almost to the day, I guess). A lot's happened in the last 4 months. Let's see if I can summarize into a few succinct bullet points.

We at unnamed financial services company moved our offices from one run-down, defunct old building to a much less run-down, defunct newer building. That transition took about 3 weeks to really settle in.
We at unnamed financial services company wrapped up some major projects, which in turn spawned a whole nest of other projects.
We at unnamed financial services company have a new Director of Information Technology... me. :-)
My wife and I just celebrated our 6-month anniversary. Has it already been 6 months??
My wife and I do web design/development services on the side, and we currently have 4 web sites in the pipe, not to mention other graphic design work, and art which my wife is currently putting together for a show.
I went to my first local kite club meeting in well over a year, and took my wife with me. She got to meet the crew and we taught her how to fly some of my kites.
My wife and I are currently on a detox diet for nine days. Next Tuesday is the ninth day.

Wow, that was pretty succinct.

So between all that and having time for each other (which we decided was most important), we're still (amazingly) getting out periodically.

I guess that's it for now.

Birthday, Version 29

2007-06-11T09:58:00.000-05:00

My wife and I have been spending time with one of my closest friends, who is temporarily back in the States from overseas, and as they've been getting to know each other, my friend pointed out to my wife, "I've never seen him so happy." As I pondered that, I realized that it's true: I've never been happier. I'm married to the girl of my dreams (each day reveals another aspect of her that I was looking for but not realizing I was looking for it), who is the best wife a man could have; I have a great job where the work I do matters; I have a great house in a great neighborhood; I have a happy dog and a content cat.

As another year goes by, and as I look back, I have seen significant change. And in that, I see much happiness. Do I dread my birthday this year? Maybe a little. But only because there's still so much to do, both for myself and for the greater good, before I leave this homey little planet.

Is it a Bug?

2007-04-13T16:32:00.000-05:00

Or is it a "feature"?

Perform the following steps on your favorite Microsoft Windows computer and make up your own mind:

Right-click on the desktop. Select New->Text Document.
Hit Enter to accept the default file name.
Open your new text document. The file should open in Microsoft Notepad.
Type the following sentence as is (but without the quotes): "this app can break".
Save your new text document, and close Notepad.
Open your new text document again, and make note of what you see.

QED.

Ah, Sweet Relaxation

2007-04-09T10:27:00.000-05:00

I'll tell you what -- all-inclusive is the way to go. You show up at the airport, you show up at the hotel, you leave the hotel, and you go home. You don't really have to bring any money or monetary instruments. You go, you enjoy, then you go home.

My (new) wife and I were noticing on our honeymoon last week that for a whole week, we were treated like royalty, even at the wedding. This is an extremely important observation for both of us because we're both so very service-oriented, and it was nice to be served for a time. More on this later.

What was it like? For any of you faithful readers who have seen the brochure for the resort hotel where we stayed, that brochure did absolutely no justice to the actual place. A few sheets of full-color cardstock could neither accurately capture nor effectively convey the beauty and restfulness of the resort.

How was the weather? It was absolutely beautiful. Mid- to upper-80s all week long (low-30s, if you're counting in metric), bright sunny skies, partly to mostly cloudy late in the day. We had a couple of brief thunderstorms roll through late in the evening, but if you ask me, that's the perfect time to go play in the rain.

What did you do there? We ate a lot, and we slept a lot, and that was pretty much it. Our principal goal was to rest, and rest we did. There' s something to be said for having a time where you can take the watch off (not that we wear watches), turn off the cell phone (can't get service there anyway), and lob the alarm clock out the window (figuratively). The Mexican culture (and indeed, probably all of Latin America is similar) is one of rest and play, in stark contrast to rushing everywhere according to very strict and clearly defined schedules as we do here in the States.

Did you have good Mexican food? Yes and no. Yes, we did, but no, Mexican food was not the focus. The hotel is kind of out in the middle of nowhere, and it's designed to be kind of isolated. As such, there are several restaurants on the property, and each one of them serves haute cuisine of various styles, including Mexican, pan-Asian, International, and Italian gourmet cuisines. For the foodie who needs/wants a relaxing vacation, this is the place to go.

I want to see pictures! We took two rolls of pictures (54 exposures total). That's it?? Yes. And most of them were of us relaxing or being relaxed. I mean really, how do you capture true beauty? It's very difficult. As Marvin Gaye says, "Ain't nothin' like the real thing, baby!" In a very real sense, we were too distracted by the beauty of the place to be bothered to try to capture it.

We're back home now, and I'm back to work. My lass is getting settled into our house, and I'll be helping her with that all this week. Yay! :-)

Happy New Year!

2007-04-01T10:56:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year?!?! No, I'm not 3 months late.

Before April 1 was called April Fool's Day, it was the calendar new year. In fact, the reason it's called April Fool's Day is because when the calendar changed from the New Year being in spring to being in the dead of winter, people would play jokes on the ones who didn't make the switch, and vice versa. That is how we got April Fool's Day.

Today is a different kind of New Year. Today, I'm getting married. It's been four months since I asked my girlfriend to marry me. It's been four (long) months of planning and waiting, waiting and planning. And that day is finally here, when she and I will join hands and join hearts before the Creator and His Son.

It's still pretty surreal. On one level, it's a no-brainer. On another level, there's that little voice (which I've come to profoundly hate in the last few months) that says, "Do you know what you're getting into?? Do you know you won't survive??" and I just have to tell it to go back to where it belongs (use your imagination). On another level, I'm completely relaxed, but on another level, I'm really really nervous. I'm told this is normal.

Anyway, I'm off to get stuff ready to take down to the place for setup.

Pi + e = Pie!

2007-03-14T11:21:00.000-05:00

Mmm... Pie...! Today is Pi Day, for all you math nerds out there. You know, π, the irrational number, 3.141592654…. Some people will even go so far as to celebrate it at 1:59 today (3/14 1:59 ... 3.14159). I'm not that big of a nerd. But I am excited about another thing.

I'm getting married in 2.5 weeks. In exactly 3 weeks from right now, I will be lounging on a Mexican beach with my new wife, sipping margaritas and Mexican martinis, enjoying the soft sea breeze and gentle white noise of the surf.

Where are you going? We'll be near Cancun, right on the water. We got this sweet package deal through our travel agent, and she managed to wrangle for us an ocean-front room. Literally, we open the door and there's the ocean. How cool is that? The package is all-inclusive, so basically we show up at the airport, then show up at the hotel, and just relax.

How long are you gone? We're there for 4 nights.

Can I go? You can go, as long as you're not there at the same time we are. ;-)

Nothing a Nice, Tall Dark Ale Can't Fix

2007-02-15T14:00:00.000-06:00

And of course the tall, dark ale I'm referring to is none other than a cold Guinness, straight off the tap.

Did you ever have one of those days, where you get woken up with a phone call with a frantic co-worker on the other end shouting, "The server's down"? And then when you try to bring up the backup, it won't come up? And then issues with DNS caching, code portability, and upstream connections? And every minute that ticks by, that's somebody's hourly wage that goes in the rubbish bin?

I love my job. I get to fix things all day long, and about 3 out of 4 times, I get a pat on the back. That's a lot better odds than when I was at unnamed technology company, and I was lucky to get a smiley in my chat window, even though I just saved the team a week of work trying to fix a nasty problem.

Where's the love? It's right here, baby! :-) I think I'll celebrate with a nice, tall dark ale.

Valentine's Day (Reprise)

2007-02-14T12:42:00.000-06:00

Today is Valentine's Day.

What is Valentine's Day anyway? Some say the modern incarnation was a marketing ploy by greeting card companies. Some link the holiday to pagan fertility festivals. Others trace the tradition all the way back to Ancient times, and all through the rise of the Catholic Church.

I personally believe it was created as a way to make all the single folk feel bad about being single.

But this year is different.

As a matter of fact, I have a hot date. And this year, it's not with a kitchen. This year, I have my lovely fiancée to keep me company. It's been a whole year since she was my soux chef at the coffee shop. In some ways it seems like it's been forever, and in other ways it seems just like yesterday.

On some level, you could probably say that I got shot in the bum with an arrow last year. It just took a little while for The Stuff to kick in. Not that I'm complaining.

Ahh, Code...

2007-01-30T10:00:00.000-06:00

I've written so much code in the last 3 months that it's quite astounding, looking back. Between my regular job and my night job (independent contractor for my fiancee's web design firm), I pretty much spend every waking hour either coding or eating, sometimes eating code. I just hope I'm not getting carpel tunnel syndrome. I have a wrist support glove that has a built-in wrist pad, and that helps a lot, but I can feel a little tension in the tendons in the back of my hand, probably from typing. And I have a little nub on the side of my wrist where my hand rests on the desk, probably from using the mouse.

Sure beats chopping fingertips off though....

103 (In Memoriam)

2007-01-08T21:03:00.000-06:00

That's a whole dang slew of years. Basically the entire development of the modern era has taken place in the last 103 years. Everything from aviation to automobiles, from computers to space travel, from microwaves ovens to televisions, from mechanized warfare to homeland security, all these have happened in the last 103 years. And my grandfather has seen them all.

My grandfather passed away this past weekend. He was 103 years old. He's led a very full life. In a lot of ways, he was very much a father to me, not just a grandfather. He and my grandmother had come to live with my parents before I was born, and they helped raise my siblings and me. They were our daycare, our playmates, our friends, our grandparents. He encouraged us three grandchildren to be well-rounded individuals, prompting us to study everything from foreign languages and math and science, to exercising and playing musical instruments. He himself was a very accomplished engineer, a teacher, an athlete, a party animal. I remember when my grandparents lived in a senior community apartment complex, they would go to the community parties and get-togethers the apartment managers facilitated. He was the life of the party, singing, dancing, playing the piano. Very much the ladies' man. ;-)

He was a fighter. Only in his last couple of months did he finally agree to use a wheelchair. Up until then, he insisted on walking everywhere himself, bathing himself, feeding himself. He carried his walker only because the nursing home staff wanted him to have it with him, so he carried it for show. He would brag about the fact that he was the oldest person there and the only person who could feed himself. Up until his last hours, he had a very clear mind. His eyesight was failing, but not to where he couldn't read. He had gone to school in Belgium and France, and so learned French fluently. He still spoke English with a perfect French accent, and would speak what I call "Frenglish," an interesting mix of French and English. He would tell us about how when he wrote letters to his friends and family, he would have three dictionaries on hand: Chinese, French, and English, so that if he couldn't remember a word in one language, he could translate from another language.

So now he is reunited with his wife of 73 years, who passed away a little over 2 years ago. I'm sad, but also grateful for the long and fruitful life that he had. For me, his death is easier to accept on some level because he lived over 100 years. In my mind, that's a very full life, almost two lifetimes for a lot of people. I just pray that I'll be able to live my life as fully as he lived his, not just in years but also in experiences. The main thing I learned from my back injury 3 years ago is that life is short, and it is OK to eat dessert first, because if you don't, you might miss out and regret it. In all my experiences so far, both good and bad, there is nothing I regret except not seeing the light earlier.

The moral of the story is this: Live every moment. I mean really live every moment. You may not have time later to go back. Give yourself some stories to tell your kids and grandkids, and then you will live forever in memories.

Yeah, Baby!

2006-12-04T17:40:00.000-06:00

She said, "Yes!" :-)

That's right, Scotch Lassie and coredump are gettin' hitched! Tying the knot! Getting married!

Some of you might think this is all so sudden. Well, in a way it is. A year ago, I didn't think I was going to be engaged in a year, and neither did she. But looking back at the whole process, it makes sense. Anyone that knows us knows that we go together (of course, we know that too).

1 April 2007 is the date we're shooting for. Plans are already well underway, and are moving along nicely. It's gonna be super-awesomely-cool.

On Strength

2006-11-24T00:55:00.000-06:00

I just really feel like I should say this for whatever reason....

When I look around at the people who have surrounded me this past year, I realize that for the first time in my life, these people are asking me to be who I was created to be. I mean, it's built into my names: Crowned Strong-Man. My bosses at the coffee shop were asking me to be a leader. My friends are asking me to be strong. My girlfriend is asking me to be a man. And as I think about what all this really means, it scares the sh*t out of me because I'm not sure if I can be all these things they're asking for. They tell me I'm doing it, and that I'm doing a great job being these, but a part of me still doesn't believe it. But I look at myself objectively, and I see that yes, I am. I am a leader. I am strong. I am a man. Even as much as it scares me. But I tell you, the adventure is so worth the risk.

Are you being who you were created to be?

Happy (U.S.) Thanksgiving

2006-11-24T00:17:00.000-06:00

It's Thanksgiving in the States, a time of reflecting over the past year and being thankful for everything we're blessed with, whether we have little or plenty. This year, I'm thankful for the opportunity to bless and be blessed, to teach and be taught, and of course to love and be loved.

It's been a tough year. There's no denying that. But in the end, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Opportunities and adventures that I never thought possible. I feel that I've grown and changed and been shaped in so many ways, all for the positive. And through it all, my steadfast friends ran right alongside, handing me paper cups filled with water or sports drink, waving pom-poms and signs. The race is not finished -- far from it -- but I've gotten this far only by their support (you know who you are) and, above all, strength from the Big Guy Himself.

Thank you. :-)

Oh yeah, Libby's OK now. She's on the special diet food (eats it voraciously) and getting subcutaneous fluids weekly. Her energy level is back to when I first got her; she's like a new kitten now. Thanks, everyone, for your kind words and thoughts and prayers. We very much appreciate them. :-)

Get well soon, Libby. :-(

2006-10-21T01:43:00.000-05:00

Libby's in the Kitty Hospital tonight, and probably will be until early Monday morning. She's very lethargic, hasn't been eating, and definitely is not being herself. The emergency vet says it's very likely to be chronic renal failure (CRF), which is essentially a slow kidney failure. Further research finds that this condition can be quite common in older cats (over 7 years old). Libby's about 11 now, as far as I know, which is getting old for a kitty.

CRF is a progressive disease, which means it never gets better. But it can be managed. The hard part is finding the balance between prolonging the kitty's life and giving the kitty the highest quality of life during her last days. Libby can have anywhere from months to years before she reaches end-stage CRF. In the meantime, treatment can be quite expensive, and is constant.

I just don't know what to do. It's all very overwhelming right now.

UPDATE: 23 Oct 2006 18:23: I took Libby to the regular vet this morning, and they put her back on the IV and gave her some more medications. Her blood chemistry is doing much much better, but she's been having upset stomach today. The vet is keeping her overnight in case she's still feeling ill since they are better equipped to handle that sort of thing. But aside from that, she's doing much better. I got to visit with her a bit tonight, and she seems to be much more herself now. The curiosity and liveliness that I knew is starting to come back. Tomorrow we'll see how her overall health is doing.

By the way, I like my vet a lot. He seems to be genuinely interested in the well being of his animal patients and their human owners, and I value and respect that very highly. He seems to have a veritable cornucopia of experience, and has a very gentle and soothing bedside manner. If you're looking for a vet near where I live, let me know and I can give you his name.

UPDATE: 25 Oct 2006 23:27: Well, Libby's off the IV now, but even with the reduced flowrate of IV fluids she got today, her blood chemistry levels were going back toward the "not so good" numbers. The vet wants to try a couple of days of subcutaneous ("sub-Q") fluids, where they put a bubble of IV fluid under the skin as like a portable IV. On Friday, the vet will do another blood test to see how Libby's doing. If she requires continuous IV to keep her levels stable, then it'll probably be time to let her go. :-( Even more than 2-3 times per week of sub-Q would be pretty strenuous for her.

They say that kidney failure is by no means a painful thing for cats until they get to the very very end stages of it. Her spirit is much lighter now than this time last week, which tells me that she's not feeling any pain as a result of her condition.

UPDATE: 30 Oct 2006 21:35: Libby seems to be 90% her old self again. :-) She's jumping up to her favorite sleeping spot(s), playing with the catnip toys, and snuggling with everyone in sight. And I'm sure she's glad to not need to be at the vet's all the time. I will be giving her subcutaneous fluids at home now (the vet showed me how to do it... very easy), and we're switching over to a special diet food to help regulate her blood chemistry.

Kitties like Libby are hard to find. It'd be really sad times to lose her. =^..^=

Occupational Changes

2006-10-13T22:55:00.000-05:00

Well, I decided I wanted to change jobs again.

I've been looking for several weeks now, and this one turned up. It's a multi-function job involving programming, system/network administration, and desktop support. Basically, I do whatever is needed. So the other job at unnamed software start-up is no longer, and I start at unnamed financial services start-up on Monday.

While I liked the work at the other job, I got really bored really fast because there wasn't much human interaction to speak of. I mean it was day in, day out of just straight coding, which normally would be a good thing, but having worked at the coffee shop for a year, I've become more extroverted than I was 1.5 years ago. So something in me craves people, more than what was happening at unnamed software start-up.

And besides, this new job pays more and actually has benefits. Well, I'll be eligible for benefits after 60 days. But that's OK. This one's a job I can hang on to for a while, I think.

One piece of sage advice, though, that I received during the whole process was, "You are not married to your job." There's really nothing stopping us from just up and leaving a job at any given time. Sure, there's the courtesy 2-week notice, but outside of that, we're not chained to a particular desk with the key thrown away. Of course that advice was accompanied by, "Use their resources to start your own company." Who knows, I may end up with my own business. I have ideas that I think would really sell. It's just a matter of getting more or less stable again, then staying up late nights working on code to sell.

Here's to positive cash flow! <clink/> And just in time, too. (More on this later.... ;-)

The Horror!

2006-09-20T22:46:00.000-05:00

Oh, dear golly! Nooo! What are you doing?!?!

Relax. It's only a model. Or a virtual machine. Unfortunately, 90% of the world still uses Microsoft Windows and Internet Explorer, and the web design business requires testing with them.

I was fortunate enough to find that VMware Server 1.0 and its cohorts are now free. A quick install on my Linux server proved easy. Then it was a matter of digging up my old Windows 98 CD (the last version of Windows that I have personally purchased), and remembering that the CD is not bootable. Then it was a matter of finding a Windows 98 boot floppy, and remembering how to install Windows 98. Once that was all done, then I had a working Windows 98 install running in a VMware virutal machine. Next step, find some cash, and get me some more RAM for the server.

My old AMD Athlon 1.0 GHz (yes, they made them that slow) from 6 years ago finally quit. It was a long-lived Linux server (which I don't think ever had a Windows CD within 5m of it), and was due for retirement. So I bought a $129 pre-built PC from local gigantic electronics outlet. Unfortunately, being only $129, it only came with 128MB of PC3200 RAM. So I'll scrounge up some cash and get a couple more sticks.

Summer

2006-08-14T23:31:00.000-05:00

It's August. It's "hotter 'n Hades", as some might say. Almost a week straight of 100+ degrees Fahrenheit.

It's prohibitively hot here in unnamed mid-size metropolis. I can't really work a whole lot outside without taking my CamelBak hydration pack. On the other hand, it's the perfect time of year for floating down a cold, lazy river on a tube. Or hiking to a remote artesian spring for a swim. Or staying inside with a tall glass of iced tea and a set of Battlestar Galactica DVDs.

Fall kite season is starting soon. And now that I have weekends off again, I'll be able to take full advantage of the late summer and autumn winds. There's nothing like the feeling of cruising across a wide open field, 2 inches of air and several millimeters of Nylon fabric between you and the scratchy grass, sailing at a brisk 25+ mph, powered by nothing but the wind. Yeah, baby...!

New Job, Week 1

2006-08-04T10:07:00.000-05:00

It's Friday, the beginning of the end of the first week of the new job.

It's been nice here at unnamed software start-up. Here's my typical day:

Come in.

Sit down.

Collect my thoughts.

Code.

Realize that I'm hungry (after 3-4 hours of coding).

Eat while coding.

Code some more.

Realize it's time to go home.

Go home.

It's nice to be able to code for more than an hour at a time without being interrupted with meetings I didn't have to be at, or questions that have no business being asked. We know code and that's all we do. In 3 days I've written over 3000 lines of code. At unnamed technology company, I'd be doing good if I could write 1000 lines in a week. What's up with that?

Anyway, I get home, I'm tired, but there's a feeling of accomplishment, like I've done something with my life, rather than having thrown it away on pointless meetings and projects that we know are going to the rubbish heap.

The Job Search Ends

2006-07-26T16:53:00.000-05:00

I'm in a good mood and I've got money in my pocket. :-)

I had two interviews today, and two job offers. I took one of them, the one with the decathlon-like application/interview process. It was kind of surreal, actually. The guy called me in to do a face-to-face interview, and he started talking about the work that they do, then he goes, "Can you start tomorrow?" And I'm all in my head going, "HUH??" Then I go, "Well, I've already got stuff going on this week, but I can start Tuesday." Then he goes, "Then Tuesday it is."

So I'll be working at unnamed software start-up starting Tuesday, doing some kind of web or PHP development. It's kind of exciting, actually, because the projects usually last 4-8 weeks, but they're all big contracts with big companies.

So there you have it. It's been about 10 weeks since I started looking, and I estimated 6-8 weeks to get an offer. Not too bad, if I do say so.

The Job Search Continues, Part 3

2006-07-25T14:02:00.000-05:00

More interviews, no offers. There's one part-time that I wish would be full-time, and there's one full-time that has a seemingly decathlon-like application/interview process.

In other news, today marks exactly one year to the day since I started my pastry chef job at the coffee shop.

UPDATE: 2006 July 25 14:25: I was worried about my skills test results for one company (the one with the decathlon-like process). Turns out, the most oft-missed question was one that I answered spot on. So really I worried for nothing. They want coders. I am a coder. I write code. Coding is what I do. So after a second phone interview, we've scheduled a face-to-face interview for tomorrow. If all goes well and they offer me a job, I will probably take it.

The Job Search Continues, Part 2

2006-06-30T09:52:00.000-05:00

I had sent my resume to unnamed technology comnpany's Linux group almost a month ago. Last night at about 18:00, I get a call:

Him: Hi, I was handed your resume the other day, and I'm very interested in your Linux skills.
Me: I LOVE Linux!!
Him: Good. Basically we're looking for someone to help us debug some kernel patches for a client.
Me: I LOVE debugging!!
Him: Good. Also, I'm just curious about this pastry chef thing. Tell me about that.
Me: I LOVE cooking!!
Him: Cool. Well, I'm going to hand your resume to my boss. Hopefully, you'll hear from us.
Me: I LOVE you, man!!
Him: I, uh... love you... too... man.... [click]

(The previous dialogue was a dramatization of actual events. This version is much more interesting.)

Birthday, Version 28

2006-06-12T10:15:00.000-05:00

I have a feeling that Version 28 will be much better than Versions 27 and 26. Though I have to say, Version 21 was pretty dang cool. I'm a little bit (read: a lot) curious about what's in store for Version 28. My girlfriend seems like she's plotting something, but she won't divulge any details, other than the obvious. She wanted to take me tubing, but if I'm not allowed to work, then I most certainly can't go floating down a grimey river. My bosses are going to take us out to dinner in the evening to this Japanese restaurant that they've been raving about. Outside of that, I have no clue.

27 was a really good year for me, on many multiple levels. Actually, now that I think of it, I've been dreading getting older because I've been afraid that the daily drudgery of work would only get worse as the years wore on. Such is not the case anymore. I've learned a lot about life, love, adventure, passion, risk, and fear in the last year. Life doesn't have to get worse day by day. It can get better, and it has. The coffee shop has been a tremendous blessing to me for the last 10 months, as has my girlfriend for the last 2 months. Leaving unnamed technology company was probably one of the best moves I've ever made. While there exists the possibility of me ending up there again, now that I've tasted the Juice of the Cup of Adventure, I think (hope) it would be that much harder to end up an empty, depressed code monkey again.

Anyway, time to move on.... :-)

UPDATE: 13 Jun 2006, 1:32: Arguably the best birthday ever. At least it's right up there with 21. :-)

Stop!

2006-06-11T02:12:00.000-05:00

So, I'm at the wedding today, chop-chop-chopping away at some vegetables. Chop-chop-ch.... Wait, this sounds familiar.... On the plus side, now I'll have matching scars on my pinky and thumb, same hand.

I just got home. I've been going full bore for 4 days (since Wednesday). Today I was supposed to rest. I was supposed to stop, sit back, and let everyone else handle getting the wedding together. Supposed to. Did I do that? NoooOOOooo.... I had to go try to tie some ribbon bows, or try to saute some chicken, or try to move things around. And every time I did, my thumb opened up just a little bit, leaking red stuff into my gauze bandage and sending some tingliness down my thumb. Why can't I just rest?

I find I'm learning about resting, but also about not always having to be helpful. This is the first time I've felt really unhelpful, and at the same time really helpless. I haven't felt this helpless since my back went out almost 3 years ago. It's hard to be unhelpful when I'm so often driven by a desire to serve. I also must say, even though I did about 20 minutes of hard labor today, spending the whole rest of the day managing is equally draining, especially after spending weeks planning and preparing for this weekend.

The wedding and reception went swimmingly. Major crises left and right, but at the same time grace and creativity to make the surface seem smooth. It was kind of like the old saying about how a duck glides effortlessly on top of the water, but it's feet are actually going a mile a minute underneath. It was a good learning experience.

By the way, my thumb is fine (for the most part). One of the bride's maids is a nurse, so she was able to come and wrap my thumb up really well. So well that it makes it look a lot worse than it really is. And since I had to keep it elevated (after being scolded by two nurses, my boss, and my girlfriend), it was hard to keep it hidden from the wedding guests. That, and somehow word traveled fast around the reception hall that I had nearly cut my thumb off. On the other hand (no pun intended?), I was able to interact a lot more with the guests and answer questions about the food and whatnot.

All in all, it was a good wedding. It was fun to really get to experience first hand (pun intended??) the behind-the-scenes of such a large operation. We probably served around 140 guests total. Yeah, wow. Time for bed.

Zzzzz....

A Big Day

2006-06-10T07:01:00.000-05:00

It's wedding day! (No, not mine.) ;-)

Today, my team and I are catering a huge wedding. This would be the biggest one yet for the coffee shop, and a very important one. The rehersal dinner last night went extremely well, despite numerous mishaps, and I strongly believe that the reception tonight will go according to plan.

I'm heading over to the site in about half an hour to get the setup plan for the reception hall, and start executing it. The last two days have been very hectic for me personally (to say the least), as I've had to make both the bride's and groom's cakes, plus organize all the food-related supplies for transport, while trying to perform my normal duties. I can't say things went perfectly, but I think they went as well as they would considering.

Seeing as how these are my first ever wedding cakes, I will be sure to get pictures of them all dolled up. Not perfect by any means, but they are pretty good, especially for me not having any formal training, and not doing it a lot (read: hardly ever).

<sigh/> Here we go....

The Job Search Continues

2006-06-03T12:10:00.000-05:00

I've sent out about a dozen or so resumes so far. Only one has resulted in a preliminary phone interview, which ironically was for a contractor position at unnamed technology company.

In another plot twist, I've just sent my resume to unnamed technology company for a position in its Linux group. Fortunately for me, unnamed technology company is so huge that I can stay pretty clear of where I was when I escaped. I'd been wanting to get into that Linux group for years, but they never had any openings until just before I left. And now it seems they still have an opening or two.

Here's hoping....

Change of Plan... For Real This Time!

2006-05-19T00:37:00.000-05:00

OK, so we're gonna have to call off the hounds.

I'm not going to culinary school anytime soon. Why? Well, after talking and thinking and praying, I don't believe it's the right thing to do at this moment. I'm also leaving my position at the coffee shop, and going back to a tech job. In fact, I've already sent out two copies of my resume.

What??

Yeah. I still believe that I'm to end up in culinary school sometime, and open my own bakery at sometime, but not right now. I don't know when, just not right now. The last 6 months have been for me an awesome time of taking a step back and looking at myself again from a fresh perspective, a time to rediscover who I am and what I'm passionate about.

Now I know some of you are thinking that my girlfriend might have something to do with this. You would be partially right. But this is about more than a girlfriend, and she understands that. She's just happy that I'm not going to New York, and I certainly can't fault her for that. ;-)

Bottom line, don't come kicking my bum just yet. There is a slim possiblity I may make it into culinary school in the next 2 years, but don't count on it.

A funny thing life is, full of surprises. Makes it fun. :-)

Sabbaticals

2006-05-18T13:44:00.000-05:00

I think everyone should take a 6-month sabbatical every 5 years. It's nice to be able to just take a step back, take a deep breath, and take control again.

Distraction

2006-05-03T21:12:00.000-05:00

Some of you have been bugging me about not blogging enough. OK, one of you has been bugging me about not blogging enough (you know who you are). Well, there's a reason for that: for the last almost 4 weeks, I've been severely distracted by a certain brown-eyed girl (not that I'm complaining).

She was working at the coffee shop when I started there about 8 months ago, and we got to be really good friends. Apparently over the last few months, everybody (regular customers included) thought we were already together or should be, but no one bothered to tell us. Predictably, now that we are together our relationship proves to be rather newsworthy.

So who is she? She's a graphic designer and an astoundingly talented artist. She has lively brown eyes and a bright smile. We're so much alike that it's kind of creepy sometimes. And most importantly, she knows how I like my hot chocolate. :-)

What about culinary school? I'm not sure yet. I'm still trying to figure that one out. I knew going into this relationship that it would complicate things with respect to school. But I decided, "Why not?" Besides, there's lots of work for graphic designers in New York. ;-)

Hey, Baby!

2006-04-20T13:22:00.000-05:00

Hey, hey hey baby!
I want to know if you'll be my girl
Hey, hey hey baby!
I want to know if you'll be my girl

When I saw you walking down the street
I said that's a kind of girl I'd like to meet
She's so pretty, Lord she's fine
I'm gonna make her mine all mine

Hey, hey hey baby!
I want to know if you'll be my girl

When you turned and walked away
That's when I want to say
C'mon baby, give me a whirl
I want to know if you'll be my girl

Hey, hey hey baby!
I want to know if you'll be my girl

When you turned and walked away
That's when I want to say
C'mon baby, give me a whirl
I want to know if you'll be my girl

Hey, hey hey baby!
I want to know if you'll be my girl
Hey, hey hey hey hey, baby
C'mon, baby now.....

[Bruce Channel, "Hey, Baby", 1962]

That song's been in my head for the last two days. I thought I'd do something with it. ;-)

100th Post!

2006-04-19T09:28:00.000-05:00

<siren/>
<confetti/>
<ballons/>
<music type="celebration"/>

Wow, this is such an honor! So many people I want to thank.... First of all, I'd like to thank the middle management over at unnamed technology company -- without them, I wouldn't have nearly as much ranting and raving to rant and rave about. And then... oh my gosh... I'd like to thank the guys over at the coffee shop for making coffee interesting. Wow, I uh... wow.... And I want to give a special shout-out to -- Uh, hold on, the producer's waving at me....

What?

What??

What do you mean, "98"???

MISCOUNTED?!

But, I....

So, do I...?

Well, crap.

<mumble/>
<mumble/>
<grumble/>
<mumble/>

Pastry Singularity

2006-04-05T23:09:00.000-05:00

As it turns out, everything I know about chocolate doesn't apply to a chocolate fondue fountain.

My entire pastry career has been spent mastering the art of making chocolate hard (tempering, glazes, ganaches, etc), and I think I have it down pretty well. Now as I'm trying to maintain a chocolate fountain, my challenge is to keep it runny.

It's a fine line between too thick and too thin for a chocolate fountain. If the chocolate is too thick, it won't flow freely over the fountain canopies. If the chocolate is too thin, it won't sheet as it falls. Then by virtue of the fact that the chocolate is falling, it's constantly losing heat to the air, thus becoming thicker.

Normally, if I were dipping things in chocolate, I would make a ganache, keep it warm over a hot water bath, and dip away. The warm ganache flows over the dipped food very freely, and sheets off nicely when I pull the food out. When the ganache cools, it becomes hard and shiny.

The ganache would have worked in the fountain, had the built-in heater been hot enough. Oh well.

In other news, I brought my cake into the coffee shop for display on Monday. Since then, I've sold 3 birthday cakes. I think my bosses are also having a fun time telling customers that I'm applying to the CIA. Everytime I turn around, someone's wishing me luck after being thoroughly amazed that I'm going to school rather than going back to school.

Yeah, Baby!

2006-04-01T19:26:00.000-06:00

First place, Best in Show, People's Choice! That's $2,000, plus a full scholarship to the culinary school of my choice! :-D

This was a very valuable learning experience. I've found out that cake decorating really isn't my thing. But cake baking is. That is, combining flavors, optimizing the cake texture, etc. There was a cake tasting competition (Italian Cream and Chocolate cakes), and if I'd had time, I would have entered a chocolate cake. Oh well.

Springtime!

2006-04-01T04:45:00.000-06:00

It's 4:45am. After a total of 8 hours of actual work spread out over 3 nights, I have a competition entry I'm satisfied with. After a icing emergency and 24 hours of mulling, I managed to solve a major problem (no, I won't tell you what it was).

It was really refreshing to get back into working with fondant, though very much out of practice I was. However, I think the final product turned out "good enough". I'm nervous about the competition because I know there will be master chefs adjudicating, and I know they will be scrutinzing every single little error, and questioning every single little technical aspect, none of which I feel is up to par. However, I just have to tell myself, "I'm not competing against master chefs." And that makes me feel a little better. A little. Only a little. I'll be ecstatic if I place, but I know this is good experience for me no matter how it goes.

You're probably wanting to see pictures. Your patience has rewarded you.

It started with a clean canvas:

Then eventually evolved into:

But I coudln't figure out what to do with the middle tier. Then all of a sudden, "Farfalle!"

Well, I should get some sleep. Three hours should be enough (yeah, right). I'll let you know how it goes.

Pastry Competition

2006-03-30T02:27:00.000-06:00

Just when I'm wishing there were a pastry competition that I could enter, there it is.

I walked into the local bake supply shop the other day to pick up some items, and right there at the front of the store is a stack of competition rules and entry forms for a cake design competition hosted at the local culinary school this weekend. I thought about it for a while, got some questions answered, then $25 later I'm entered.

At long last, I'll finally get to see where I stand in the cake decorating world, pitting my skills and experience against scores of other entrants. I don't know how many will be in my skill level division, but I'm sure there will be some pretty stiff competition (unlike a certain other competition I'd entered). I'll post pictures of my design later. But for now you'll have to settle with knowing that it's a springtime theme.

Reading through the competition rules and hints, I'm so much more mindful of the level of perfection my cake will have to achieve in order to win. Fondant has to be absolutely smooth, colors have to go together, the overall design should be sufficiently complex but not busy, etc. They say "less is more", but at the same time I have to do "enough". Hopefully I'll have enough time to complete the design to the level of perfection required. I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up staying up all night Friday finishing it.

I started putting together the tiers for my design. I'm using Styrofoam dummies instead of actual cake. It's quite different but much easier. I also realized that my fondant skills are quite out of practice. But three tries later, I finally got it back. Tomorrow will be stacking the tiers, installing borders, and starting the sugar work. I'm looking forward to working with gum paste again. It's so much fun.

After I get the results from this competition, I'll be sending off my application to the Culinary Institute of America. For some reason, leaving the "Awards" section empty seemed wrong. Hopefully I'll have something to brag about in that box....

(If you want to come see the cake show, e-mail me and I'll let you know the details.)

Extroversion

2006-03-16T23:34:00.000-06:00

I think I'm becoming an extrovert.

Being a manger in the food service industry is very socially demanding. It requires selling products, interfacing with customers and suppliers, handling people, dealing with problems, confrontation. All of these I used to shy away from -- nay, actively avoid. But I don't mind them so much anymore. I also seem to be a tad more vocal, a little bolder, a bit more je ne sais pas. Confident? Assertive? No... what's the word...?

I'm considering attending the Culinary Institute of America, and eventually opening my own bakeshop. The CIA offers bachelors' degrees in baking and bakeshop management. But there are two problems with this idea: 1) it costs $19,000US per year for 3 years, and 2) it's in New York. I'd much rather go to the California campus so I could learn how to surf in my (copious) free time, and I don't deal well with extended periods of cold. As far as money goes, with my current income level (negligible) and my skillset, I should be able to get grants and loans and scholarships.

I'm also trying out this MacOS X Dashboard widget, called DashBlog. It allows me to post to my blog(s) from the Dashboard of my Apple PowerBook G4. I hope it works like I expect it to....

UPDATE: 16 March 2006 23:38: On second thought, I'm not sure I like DashBlog very much. I'll give it another try later.

UPDATE: 16 March 2006 23:40: On third thought, I think it's Blogger having issues. I'll definitely try DashBlog again later. It just seems really convenient.

New Domain

2006-03-06T18:08:00.000-06:00

Woohoo! I have a new domain over at fire-bottle.net. Nothing special there yet, but I will be updating the look and feel at some point.

Why fire-bottle.net? It's pretty simple, really:

In this day and age, where smaller is not always better, sometimes you have to go old-school.

A firebottle is computer slang for what, in British-English, is known as a valve, or in American-English, is known as a vacuum tube. (See bullet A.)

I like the combination of the phonemes, and the meter of the syllables.

My previous web host was slacking majorly from the start, and it was time to review my subscription anyway.

And firebottle.net was already taken.

So there it is. In the tradition of my computer-themed web presence, I thought it fitting to select a domain along that vein.

Patents

2006-03-05T00:50:00.000-06:00

And that reminds me.... I finally have an invention patent to my name. It was the last thing I did before leaving unnamed technology company. At some point, I get a check for unnamed technology company's First Patent Award, and maybe a wall plaque, but I couldn't care less about the plaque.

Ten Years

2006-03-05T00:23:00.000-06:00

I just got an e-mail invitation to my 10-year high school reunion in June.

I'm still undecided whether I'll go. There aren't a lot of people I really want to see, nor do I really care to see them. The people I want to see I see (or at least talk to) all the time. The only reason I'd go is to catch up with a few people I never see.

I'm sure there are a lot of people who are curious as to my whereabouts. When last they saw me, I was headed off to University to become a filthy rich computer programmer. So much for that. The only reason I'd go is to show them how interesting and exciting my life has been.

A lot of people when last I saw them were headed off to University to study various and sundry subjects. I've heard through the grapevine about some of them, how they changed majors multiple times and eventually graduated, how they got married and settled down, how they graduated but couldn't find a job. The only reason I'd go is to see where people have been and how they ended up there.

Stress

2006-03-03T14:32:00.000-06:00

I must be really tired and stressed out. I keep having stressful dreams, waking up to the sound of my own voice about to yell at a figment of my subconcious, panting for dear breath.

In the last month or so, I've had three dreams in which I'm confronting something or someone very very forcefully. I wake up all in a huff, and then I'm stressed out and tired the rest of the day.

I'm starting to think these dreams are important, they mean something. But what? What do they mean?

<yawn/> ...

Officer of the Watch

2006-02-26T01:03:00.000-06:00

"Lieutenant, you have the conn."
"I have the conn, aye."

"Sonar contact, port bow, range 2000 meters, closing. Enemy submarine."
Oh, crap. "Ensign, send for the Captain."
"Captain is incapacitated, sir."
"Fish in the water!"
"Where's the XO?!"
"Also incapacitated, sir."

Gaaaa!! "Helm, come left, 30 degrees, all ahead full! Launch countermeasures! Sound collision! Brace for impact!"
"It missed, sir!"
Whew!

"Radar contact, starboard bow, 5000 meters, closing. Enemy destroyer."
Great, what else? "Helm, come right, 20 degrees, all ahead full. Forward battery, put a shot across their bow. Ready torpedoes."
"Forward battery has a firing solution."
"Fire at will."
"Contact is moving away, sir."

"What just happened here, Lieutenant?"
"It's under control now, sir. Enemy dropped in to say, 'Hi'."
"Very good, Lieutenant. Carry on."
"Aye, sir. Thank you, sir. Captain has the conn."

Fog

2006-02-21T23:54:00.000-06:00

What is it about nighttime fog that fascinates me so?

The peacefulness of the encroaching fog. Enveloping the night in a shroud of mystery. Street lights and headlamps cutting through the dense blindfold. The sense of aloneness, of solitude.

It's like the all-night session in the computer lab, hacking away at some code in a cubicle, completely unaware of one's surroundings, totally immersed in a sea of green letters and numbers and symbols on a black field, suspended in a world of sound comprised only of drum-and-bass mixes. Watching bits fly by on the network wire. Waiting for the compiler to chew through a million lines of code, only to produce a minute speck of a kernel binary image.

It's like driving home from a Friday night football game, still in band uniform. Driving through a sleepy suburb, not a single soul on the road. The city-wide curfew keeps the kids off the streets during the wee hours of the night. The letter jacket is the trophy of three years of toil in the academic trenches, and the colors are worn proudly, but there is no one to admire its bearer.

It's like sitting atop a mountain, the highest peak within 50 miles, overlooking a river that cuts through an affluent neighborhood. To one side the valley opens below, and to the other the city skyline soars high above the rooftops in the distance. Though there are other view-lookers all around, one feels completely alone, at peace with oneself, one's surroundings, and the Earth below. Quietly, thoughts come and go. The Moon and her twinkling entourage make their appearance high overhead.

It's like sneaking into the student center late at night, while the all-nighters use their textbooks and notes for pillows, finding a piano in an empty room at the far corner of the building. Letting the music float up and away from the hammers and strings, wafting gently into the three-story open foyer.

Beneath the night sky, beneath the street lights, beneath the fog, for what seems an eternity, the only thing that exists in the Universe is that which one is.

Dreams

2006-02-21T10:34:00.000-06:00

I had another one of those crazy dreams last night, but this one was way cooler.

I had this dream that I opened my own French bistro in an old Victorian-style house. Then a former employer (not any employer I've ever had in RealLife™, just a former one in the context of my dream) came in with several people, and sat down at a table. I was apparently very miffed at this guy for some reason.

Me: "What are you doing here? Are you going to order something?"
Him: "No, we just wanted to sit here."
Me: "Then get out."
Him: "What?"
Me: "Get out. As you can see, I'm very busy, and I can't afford to lose a table."
Him: "But--"
Me: "Get out. This is my restaurant, not yours. Get out."

He eventually got up and left with his entourage. I turned around and was very pleased.

Spontaneous Temporary Amnesia?

2006-02-17T11:07:00.000-06:00

How/Why is it that as soon as the sun goes away and stuff starts falling from the sky, people instantly forget how to drive?

Then again, a lot of people probably didn't know how to drive to begin with....

Ranting and Venting

2006-02-16T14:31:00.000-06:00

I just need to let some steam out.

My brand-spanking-new convection oven broke again. This is strike three. If it requires some huge part to be replaced, I'm going to demand we get a different one. And if I could drop kick it without seriously injuring myself, I would.

After Tuesday night, everything was out of place and disorganized. I spent a good amount of time today picking up the pieces.

And someone threw out my hot chocolate. I drank half of it, put it down to do stuff, then I turned around and it was gone. You can take my hat, and you can take my apron, but you don't mess with my hot chocolate.

Actually, I think I'm most upset about the hot chocolate.

I feel a little better now. Back to making muffins 6 at a time.... <sigh/>

Go, Team!

2006-02-15T12:14:00.000-06:00

That went well.

A couple of minor crises in the kitchen, and a couple of minor crises in the dining room, but all in all the dinner was a great success. I was coming up on my 15th hour at work before I finally got the kitchen secured and was able to go home. We had a total of 36 diners, 8 of them whom I know personally. I was very pleased that they could come.

As far as the food goes, everything turned out well, except (in my opinion) the chicken and potatoes. Dry they were. But that's OK. I only heard one complaint of dry chicken, so I assume everyone else loved it. People seemed to really enjoy the salmon, and the cucumber appetizer was well received, especially by one woman in particular, who asked for extra balsamic sauce (used for garnishing the plate), and who I would believe also asked for seconds. The chocolate crème brûlée was a big hit, but I personally think they missed out on the fruit cocktail.

We had a most awesome team working last night. Everyone was doing their job quickly and accurately, and there is no possible way the evening would have worked if any single person slacked off. The kitchen was a madhouse (if you've seen my kitchen you'd understand), but even with 5 of us back there, things ran very smoothly.

This gives me confidence in our ability to cater for weddings in the future. With the proper equipment and facilities, I think our team could easily handle a 150-guest reception.

Inquiring Minds Want To Know...

2006-02-13T14:16:00.000-06:00

Seems the question on everyone's mind is, "How's school?"

Well, I'll tell you. I haven't started classes yet. I haven't enrolled in classes yet. I haven't applied to culinary school yet. And I don't have a housemate yet.

"When???"

Not anytime soon. As it turns out, being head chef is a really tough job, especially since I really have no idea what I'm doing. Which means that until I figure this out, and until we hire more chefs, I'm working a lot of overtime just to keep up with my constantly growing to-do list. It generally leaves about 8 hours for sleeping (which isn't too bad actually), but between work and my other weekly commitments, I don't have a lot of time to myself except for Sunday nights, which I spend doing laundry and watching Grey's Anatomy.

I feel peaceful about not going to school yet, and I feel peaceful about not having a housemate yet. My place for some indeterminate length of time is at the coffee shop.

So there you have it. And that's the way it is.

Now, I have expressed to one close friend that if I turn 30, and I haven't gone to culinary school yet, he has my full permission and blessing to come to my house and kick my sorry bum for being a slacker. I am hereby extending this invitation to all you loyal readers.

Valentine's Day

2006-02-05T01:46:00.000-06:00

Valentine's Day is in 9 days.

What is Valentine's Day anyway? Some say the modern incarnation was a marketing ploy by greeting card companies. Some link the holiday to pagan fertility festivals. Others trace the tradition all the way back to Ancient times, and all through the rise of the Catholic Church.

I personally believe it was created as a way to make all us single folk feel bad about being single.

But this year is different.

No, I don't have a hot date. This year, I have my kitchen to keep me company. I'm serving a four-course dinner to a lot of people for a pretty good chunk of change. Chicken and fish, chocolate and crème brûlée, strawberries and wine. Selections from French haute cuisine, Provençal classics, and a couple of creations of my own. Guaranteed to have that certain je ne sais pas.

I have my cooking to keep me company. Artistry meets science meets passion. A love affair with food? Yeah, pretty much. And even though I do cook a lot of savory dishes, deep down I'm still a pastry chef.

White is Very Slimming

2006-02-03T10:29:00.000-06:00

Since I left unnamed technology company, I've lost about 15 pounds.

That's all. :-)

Blog Blog!

2006-01-24T23:43:00.000-06:00

Is that kinda like, "Bork Bork"? I guess if Swedish Chef can say "Bork Bork", then Norwegian Chef can say "Blog Blog", though it doesn't roll off the tongue quite as well.

Some of you have expressed concern that I haven't blogged in a while. Well, get over it. :-P

No, really. A lot has been going on lately, I've been working a lot of overtime, and I think my cat hates me because I'm never home, and when I am home, I can't scratch her head because I'm sleeping or eating.

Ever wonder why cats like their heads scratched or necks rubbed? It reminds them of when they were mere kittens, when momma-cat would bathe them, licking them on their heads, or when momma-cat would carry them around by grabbing them by the scruff of the neck.

My neck kinda hurts. I think it's just the position I'm in, laying down as I type.

Did you know that the QWERTY keyboard was designed to slow typists down? Originally, manual typewriters had a problem of the hammers colliding if a typist typed too fast. Also, it's laid out such that letters in words are supposed to alternate hands. It almost never works out that way. They say using the Dvorak keyboard can increase typing speed by 3 times or more.

I'm really enjoying listening to Antonin Dvorak's Symphony No. 9, "From the New World". It embodies all of the drama and emotion associated with the Romantic Era of music. I was quite pleased to have caught a performance of it on "Live from Lincoln Center" on PBS one time.

Time for bed. Mmm, bacon!

Dream Recurrence

2006-01-09T11:37:00.000-06:00

I keep having this recurring dream. Slightly different this time, but basically the same as the others.

Last week, I had this dream that I was entered in a cooking competition. It was about a dozen teams competing in teams of two. We were whisked away (pun intended) to a very large, secluded lodge in the middle of the woods on the side of a mountain. In the Great Room of the lodge was set up about a dozen island countertops, each with its own cooktop and prep area. Each team was assigned an island.

The entirety of the dream consisted of the moments leading up to the beginning of the competition. We were all held in a slightly smaller Great Room adjacent the competition room, and we had a chance to kind of get to know each other before doing battle. Most of the chefs were about my age, and a handful were older, but not by much. All were men. All were seasoned veterans, experienced chefs. Except me. I specifically remember there being at least one Italian chef present wearing a green-white-red chef hat. One of the competitors was one of my old roommates, who is now a chef Downtown.

I remember feeling very small in my relative inexperience. I always felt as if I was physically looking up to talk to the other chefs.

I know I have insecurities in this area. This is a totally new beast for me to conquer. Maybe it's just my subconcious reminding me of this, trying to keep my ego in check. If that's the case, it sure is working.

Manamana!

2006-01-06T23:44:00.000-06:00

Doot dooo d'doo doo!

Yeah, Baby!

2006-01-03T03:09:00.000-06:00

gzzz dooka sss tack ka dooo ka sss tack taka dooka sss tack ka dooo ka sss tack taka doom!

Pick Me Up!

2005-12-30T21:51:00.000-06:00

I just realized that tiramisu is mostly air. Yeah, it is most definitely mostly air. The pastry cream is whipped egg yolks, whipped sugar syrup, whipped cheese, and whipped cream. The ladyfinger cookies are whipped egg yolks and whipped egg whites. And yet somehow they hold their shape. That, in and of itself, is wholly amazing to me.

Oh, and by the way, tiramisu means "pick-me-up", referring to the coffee and chocolate components, of which both are bearers of that coveted molecule, caffiene.

Days Gone By

2005-12-26T20:59:00.000-06:00

The fact is slowly sinking in that I am no longer an engineer by occupation. I can start saying to people that I'm a pastry chef. Because I am. I am not an engineer. I was an engineer in a past life. In this life, I am a pastry chef.

My family has finally come to terms with this fact as well. Over the weekend I think was the first time I have ever heard my father say, "It's your life; it's your decision." Ever. I was very surprised by that. Of course he also said that about my new PowerBook. I still think though that deep down he and my mother doubt that I can be successful at this. If anything, that's more incentive for me to prove them wrong.

I'm so far in now that I can't fail. Failure is not an option. Not that I would ever let myself fail. Because this isn't just my livelihood, but the fate of a coffee shop depends on me and my kitchen crew, and my ability to deliver baked goods effectively and efficiently. Woah.

Nah, it's really not that bad. But there is a lot of personal growth potential out there for me. For example, I have no earthly idea how to run a bakery. I know how to teach freshmen how to march in step and play an instrument simultaneously. I'm hoping those skills are transferrable.

I kind of chuckle to myself when I imagine what my resume is going to look like in a couple of years.

The Year in Blogs: 2005

2005-12-20T19:36:00.000-06:00

January: A kick in the pants.

February: A dear friend went away.

March: I like spring.

April: One chapter begins...

May: ...as another nears the end.

June: Life moves ahead.

July: Life moves faster.

August: A first taste of the future.

September: Some things get worse...

October: ...While other things get better.

November: Leaping head-first...

December: ...Landing in freedom.

Happy New Year!

2005-12-16T10:56:00.000-06:00

Premature? No.

I am badgeless, keyless, and computerless; effectively naked. Here's to freedom.

These are the last bits I will be sending on the network cable from my office. Today, I had my exit interview with my manager, and we went over some checklists and paperwork. I signed a couple of documents, updated my contact information, and voila! Freedom is at hand.

Still nervous? Most definitely. But at least I don't have to worry about coming here anymore. Next step: get the bakery business going.

One!

2005-12-15T13:52:00.000-06:00

I have one day left in this radiation-saturated, carcinogenic laboratory.

I feel a little better. I think I'm just dehydrated. I drank 2 liters of water last night after I got home, then I drank 2 more this morning while at the coffee shop. Unfortunately, I left my water bottle in the car as I sit here wiping hard disks. I guess I could run down and get it.

Today, I'm sending my desktop machines to the IT guys for storage, and an old laptop to surplus. I'm having fun writing zeros to all the hard disks. It's kind of like closure. I don't need any of these carefully arranged magnetic bits anymore, so I line them all up in the same direction.

Nervous? Most defintely. The uncertainty has my stomach all tied up in knots. "What if I'm making a mistake?" "What if it doesn't work out?" "What if I'm doing the wrong thing?" I have a tendency to second-guess myself, and if there's anything that I should second-guess, this should be it. Too late to back out now. I'm committed up to my eyeballs. Hopefully I'm not in over my head.

Two!

2005-12-14T14:42:00.000-06:00

I have two days left in this claustrophobic, headache-inducing prison.

I've had a headache for the last few days. I hope I'm not getting sick. I think I might be dehydrated. I need to drink more water.

Today, I recycled 97% of the papers and documents in and around my desk. I started loading personal effects into a box to take home. I had my last weekly project status conference call (it's about time that's done!), and I blew off one last item of work.

All in all, it's been a pretty good day.

Three!

2005-12-13T14:07:00.000-06:00

I have three days left in my cold, sterile, monochrome office at unnamed technology company.

Today, I'm dishing out my desktop boxes to anybody who wants them. The item of choice, apparently, is my three-year-old 19-inch flat CRT monitor. I've had three people so far come by to lay claim. But alas, there can be only one. The consolation prize is a 19-inch almost-flat CRT monitor. The third guy is just out of luck.

The two boxes are quite nice: 1.8 GHz and 2.4 GHz Pentium4s. The 1.8 has been a very faithful and resilient Linux box for the last three years. The 2.4 has been a flaky Windows 2000/XP box for the last two years. You do the math.

Yeah, Baby!

2005-12-07T20:04:00.000-06:00

And it's mine... all mine. Bwahahahaahahaa!

"Hellooo, Nurse!"

2005-11-29T13:00:00.000-06:00

So I'm at the coffee shop this morning, chop-chop-chopping away at some vegetables. Chop-chop-ch.... Oops.... Well that's no good. I chopped about halfway through my left pinky. My Cub Scout first aid training kicks in and I run it under cold water, then apply pressure with a paper towel. I go find a co-worker: "Um... I just nearly chopped my finger off. Can someone take me to the hospital?"

So she drives me to the hospital. After about 30 minutes of applying pressure, the bleeding had stopped, and the clotted blood had stuck the flap back on the rest of my finger. After another hour, a doctor finally sees me. "Hm.... Looks like that will heal nicely on its own. Let's get you a tetanus shot and a bandage."

Compared to my experience with other hospitals, this one wasn't too bad, actually. Also compared to my experience with other hospitals, this one had much cuter nurses (though just my luck, I didn't get one of them). Maybe I'll go back there sometime. ;-) Though it is kind of interesting what kinds of reactions you get from people (e.g. cute nurses) when you walk into an emergency room wearing a chef uniform and with your finger half falling off....

When we finally get back to the coffee shop (so much for checking out at 9:30), apparently the line had gotten out the door right after we left, so all the troops had been rallied, including my assistant chef, who finished chopping the vegetables for me. I also got this big hug from one of the shop girls because "Ohmygosh, I missed you sooo much last week!" Can't imagine why. (No, it wasn't her. She had moved to a far away place, and last I heard, she was having a lot of fun there.)

Sandy

2005-11-24T23:03:00.000-06:00

Met up with an old friend of mine on Tuesday and Wednesday. It's been a long time, but it was worth the wait, and certainly worth every minute we were together. We had two days of fun under clear blue skies, warm sun, and a stiff breeze. I had a date with a sandy beach.

Down by the sea, the sand is hard-packed and very smooth. With a good breeze and the right kite, one could take the buggy on a slow crawl by the water's edge, or a fast run across the middle of the spit. In the steady breeze, tacking upwind is so easy. The crosswind reach is very fast once you get the kite in the pocket and the sail trimmed. I probably topped out somewhere around 25 miles per hour between both days. After that, I couldn't tack anymore because I would drift off course leeward because the wind was so strong, losing a lot of speed to sliding. But right before that I got in some really good crosswind and downwind runs.

Tuesday was the more interesting of the two days. My favourite all-purpose kite is my 4.5 m² Libre Bora II. Popular in European circles, the Bora is also starting to gain a following in the U.S. It's a very stable kite, very tunable. I have it set up for upwind performance, which it excels at, even in low wind conditions. Anyway, when I got to the beach on Tuesday, the wind was light, 5 to 7 miles per hour out of the NNW. The guys who had been there all day were flying with 12 and 14 m² kites, and were moving along at a decent clip. Being from an area where summer winds are generally light to non-existent, I get a lot of low-wind practice in the buggy, so I know how to work my kites to get optimal performace out of them.

So I get my gear together, get all set up, and declare, "That's my cue!" which got a response of, "Yeah, good luck!" to which I responded in turn with a straight shot downwind onto the playing field. Fast I was not, but moving I certainly was. I could almost keep up with the 12's and 14's, and was routinely overtaking the guys with 7's and 8's. I luffed maybe twice, but for the most part I was running with the big boys, as it were. Basically there were 4 or 5 people out, most with 12's and 14's, and one (me) with a 4.5. I think I dropped a few jaws as I tore up the beach with smaller kites than what everyone else was flying.

Today was the obligatory and traditional stuffing of the face with tryptophan-laden poultry and many forms of complex starches. Mmmm....

So that's my vacation so far. Tomorrow is watching college football and swigging orange soda, a tradition for the last few years. I should be back home on Saturday. I have to go home to take care of the cat, and rest on Sunday so that I can go back to work at 5am on Monday.

Changes

2005-11-22T07:07:00.000-06:00

In talking about recent news with different friends from all my different disjoint circles, some common themes seem to have surfaced.

Everyone has noticed the change in my attitude since sealing my fate last week. People say I seem happier, or lighter. As I step back and look at myself from their eyes, I can see it too. And stepping back in and looking at myself from... well, myself... I can feel it. The old saying, "Can't see the forest for the trees," seems to hold true, just as it has for so long. Looking at the forest now, I don't think I had fully realized how heavy unnamed technology company hung on me.

People also like to point out to me how everything seems to be falling right into place. The only thing I can say to them is that this is all part of the Big Guy's Bigger Plan, of which I am a willing and obedient participant. The Plan is perfect, while I am not.

Anyway, I'm desparately trying to get out of town right now. I still need to pack my bags. In about half an hour, I should be on the road headed toward the beach with a carload of kite gear and a digital camera. I'll try to come back online later tonight with pictures and a report.

Re-org!

2005-11-20T09:54:00.000-06:00

As I type, I am quite possibly the happiest useless engineer at unnamed technology company.

Last week, a flurry of annoucements (preceeded by a mere few days of rumours) came down the pipe from the big-wigs over at Division Headquarters. So essentially, the team I've worked with for the last two years, totalling a few hundered developers and testers, both client- and server-side, has been torn in two, and the pieces scattered to the wind. Well, not quite. One piece went over to a subsidiary to do more product development (which, in a way, started with my local department 2.5 years ago), and the other piece absorbed into its parent product family.

At my local site, three sibling departments (two development, one test) were basically ripped into two pieces each, and the resulting bits mixed and matched into the two aforementioned groups. My manager held a department meeting with the pre-re-org department, outlining our post-re-org assignments. Interestingly, my name was conspicuously not with the others. But to make the paperwork easier for my departure, I stay with my pre-re-org manager until I'm gone for good.

So now, for the next six weeks, I'm just collecting paychecks until 31 December 2005. It's kinda fun being a short-timer. Incidentally, I finally got my salary information for the coffee shop. I'll start out making a third of my unnamed technology company salary, with an expected raise as soon as business proposals are finalized with potential investors. Incidentally, we are going forward with plans to expand into a second coffee shop in the neighbouring town, and to subsequently expand bakery operations. I'll be heavily involved with setting up a new, bigger kitchen.

This week, I'm on vacation, 100%. I'm not going to either of my jobs at all until week from tomorrow. I'm going to try to spend some time on the beach this week, and spend the afternoon at kite club today, and visit my family, and watch some college football.

End of the Line

2005-11-15T00:18:00.000-06:00

About 30 minutes ago, I sent an e-mail to my boss at unnamed technology company, officially serving notice of my departure from unnamed technology company on Friday, 30 December 2005. New Year's Eve will have a whole new meaning this year.

The plan is to quit unnamed technology company at the end of the year, go full-time at the coffee shop 2 January 2006, and start culinary school in February or March. I like the idea of having normal 40-hour weeks for a bit. Then around this time next year, I should be starting my externship for culinary school. I'm hoping to do my externship in some exotic locale, like Hawaii, or New Zealand, or Europe.

It's still so hard to believe that I've effectively thrown away the last 3 years of my life to projects at unnamed technology company that all got the axe without any sort of closure at all. Even right up to the very end here, I'm working with a team with three other engineers, spinning our wheels in the muck doing busy work that's going to be thrown away within six months (if current plans hold). When your countless efforts go unrecognized, and everything you've worked for, everything you've poured all your energy into, is tossed aside like refuse in the dust bin and forgotten, it's hard to say, "I care about the work I do here."

A lot of the people I work with have fallen into the Money Trap. And I admit I was there too around this time last year. But you know what? I'd rather be happy and poor than sad and rich. I mean, what good is money if you're not going to enjoy it because either you don't have time to spend it (working too much), or you buy all this crap and realise you're still unhappy. Life is short. I learned that the hard way.

Life is short.... My back injury two years ago taught me a lot about life.

For those of you not aware, I was sent on a trip on business with unnamed technology company for three weeks. My workaholic team lead worked us literally 80 hours a week. The main problem was that we sat at desks 80 hours a week for three weeks. I know at least two of us developed back problems during that time, though mine was the worst of the lot. I ended up with a herniated disc between vertebrae L5 and S1, which meant the protrusion was pinching my sciatic nerve, the main nerve trunk that runs down into the legs. I spent a week on my stomach, trying to get to the doctor several times, losing 20 pounds, and then I was hopped up on drugs for a couple of months.

I learned a lot from that experience:

"Life's too short to let life get you down," meaning that life can get in the way of true happiness, and when it does it's time to start going after a life that compliments the true happiness you want.

I understand drug addiction. Though my experience with prescription narcotics only scratches the surface of the very tip of the iceberg, it's easy to imagine myself falling into chemical dependence on opiates. When all you've known for a week is intolerable physical pain, the fact that a little pill or a few drops of liquid could take all that away is a very powerful fact to know. Morphine, Demerol, Vicodin, Diazepam. All very nice things. Naproxen (the active ingredient in Aleve) doesn't work on me anymore. Had too much of that.

Life has a lot to offer. There's a lot of stuff to do in this world, and we're only here for a short time (see Bullet 1). I battled depression and suicidal thoughts during my recovery. I finally concluded that there's so much more to see and do that I haven't seen or done. And seeing and doing a lot of those things involves taking risks. Sometimes big risks.

So here I am. I'm quitting unnamed technology company, taking a huge pay cut to work in a coffee shop, and going to culinary school. Some people think I'm throwing away five years of nationally-ranked univeristy education. I'm not saying that I won't ever go back to software engineering, but right now this will make me happy, and that's all that really matters right now. I feel a little sorry for leaving my friends behind at unnamed technology company, but I'm also hoping I can inspire them to have their own epiphanies.

Licking the Corn

2005-11-02T15:31:00.000-06:00

An alien came down from the tree. It parked its sled by the dinosaur. It crawled up to my uncle and said, "My brain is a phone, and my mother wants him to buy bread." My friend, who witnessed all this, said, "I can't see my spleen. I would ask that you not stand on my shadow."

By this time, the car was getting restless. It cried out in pain as its porcupine swam in the pudding. Then, from out of the nose, penguins rolled in, dressed in hospital gowns, singing. The maypole they were carrying was pink and quite heavy, and a legion of dwarves was worshipping it.

The pencils began to crumble. Cookies set alight the clay spire. Dancing chickens summoned forth the electric mouse with their irregular pulses of eggplant. Papers rose up from the buckets, lighting the way to the orchard. The blight had driven many to tomatoes, but now it was up to the dust bins to say when.

Failing that, the eyedrops would be the third to produce the sceptre while the coleslaw was being trampled. Neither the cup nor the window could be called upon to wash the rocks. No, only the basketball could cry.

And so it was. Water flew from lemon to lemon, bringing twist ties to the ice cream. All who were kneeling in the box would be blue forevermore.

Fin.

Chills....

2005-10-31T15:30:00.000-06:00

Oooo....
Oooooohhhhh....
AIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

<crash/>
<bang/>
<bang/>
GAAAAAAAA!

<schwing/>
My hand!

<schwing/>
My spleen!
<gurgle/>

Ruuuuuuuunnnnn!!!
<pitter/><patter/><pitter/><patter/>
<shuffle/>
It's locked!

<pitter/><patter/>
<shuffle/><shuffle/><shuffle/>
This one's locked too!
We're trapped!!

<wham/>
<smash/>
Mwaahahahahaaa!
Nooo! Not that! Anything but that!!

Mwaahahahahaaaahahahhahahahaaaa!
The horror! THE HORROR!!

"Developers, developers, developers, developers!"
AAAAAAHHAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

"Yes, Chef!"

2005-10-25T11:17:00.000-05:00

"You! I need a carrot cake, ASAP!"
"Yes, Chef!"

"You! Rearrange the pantry! Alphabetize everything by vitamin content!"
"Yes, Chef!"

"You! I've just wet my pants, and dumped a bucket of pudding on my head! Smoke me a kipper and call me 'Sally'!"
"Chef?"
"You heard me!"
"Yes, Chef! Um, I mean, Sally!"

It's nice being Head Chef.... :-)

"Double, Double, Toil and Trouble..."

2005-10-12T15:20:00.000-05:00

A cauldron rests gingerly atop a raging flame. The muck within simmers, churning, spewing, swirling, gurgling. Restlessness, agitation, anxiety. The odors, the aromas, effervesce from the open mouth of the stewpot. A shadowy figure tends the acrid soup, plunging a stirring stick into the abyss, evoking despondency buried deep within the swill.

Stoke the fire! Fan the flames!

Fingers of fire rise up to caress the massive vessel. Tongues of flame lick the raw metal. The brew turns and foams and froths with increased fervor. Its energy, its passion, surges upward, outward, with unbridled power and vigor. The fallout touches all nearby, burning with the heat of repressed aggression and frustration, now free from its stifling enclosure. The hands that once stirred the pot reel back in pain, emitting visceral, primal wails into the vast emptiness of the night.

Liberated from its prison, the taste of freedom sweetens the soup. Energy is released to the wind, and rest falls.

Amid one's loss, gain is captured by another.

* * * * *
Yeah, like I'm gonna tell you what it means. ;-) Suffice it to say, it's allegorical. Besides, I enjoy playing wordsmith every now and then.

Blog Week

2005-09-29T16:39:00.000-05:00

This must be Blog Week. I don't normally post everyday. But I'm waiting for things to happen (stupid servers), so I'm going to waste some time blogging.

At this very moment, I'm forcefully resisting the urge to tell this guy, "Tell it to someone who cares!" He just asked me to look at this bug again after discussing it with some other people, and they've decided it's going to prevent the product from shipping. We were slated to ship tomorrow. Probably won't happen unless A) a miracle happens, B) I stay up all night working on it (yeah, right!), or C) they decide it's not that important. Unfortunately, a prospective customer has already run into the problem (!) so it's likely they'll only buy if it's fixed.

OK, so say I fix it in the next 2 hours. What happens? We ship tomorrow, upper management's happy, the customer's happy and they fork over truckloads of money, and I continue to sit in my chair just like every other day like nothing happened. Standard operating procedure. You can guess why I have absolutely no motivation whatsoever to work on this.

So say I don't fix it by the end of tomorrow. All weekend I'll have people breathing down my neck, asking for status reports every 10 minutes, and I'll be even more likely to go postal. Then come Monday morning, more status reports, more micromanagement, people thrown at me to help me fix this stupid bug. Either these guys need to just go away and leave me alone, or I need to get out of here.

What about culinary school? Well, currently there's some debate as to whether that would happen soon. I'm hearing rumblings in the coffee shop of possible full-time opportunities. So do I want to go full-time at the coffee shop, while going on sabbatical from engineering, and delay culinary school for a bit? I could just as well self-study some of the textbooks to get ahead -- that's worked really well for me so far. Or stick around and save up some more money, then plan for school in January/February?

Gaaa! *#($%&Q server, piece of #(@% @#(*%ing slow $*@ network @(*#$!!!! I get way more than 240Kbps upstream at home, dang it!! Suddenly, Fatboy Slim's Weapon of Choice is playing in my head. That's some great music there.

<sigh/>

UPDATE: 30 Sept 2005 11:09: Here's a good one. I stayed till 9pm last night working on that &$%*ing bug. I come in this morning to find out we're not shipping a fix for that today. It's a good thing the people who decided that are not within 100m of me right now.

Are You Burnt Out?

2005-09-28T20:50:00.000-05:00

I came across an article about Job Burnout the other day. It was published June/2004, but obviously still holds relevance over a year later. The article discusses what job burnout is, what causes it, how to identify the warning signs, and how to remedy the situation. It's a very informative article.

The article includes a simple test to determine your burnout level, but unfortunately you have to keep track of your score manually. So I took the liberty of creating an online version of the test to make it easy for you. Take the test and see how you fare.

For each of the questions below, rate your answer from 1 to 5, with 1 being "Rarely True", and 5 being "Usually True". Be honest with your answers, and if you have multiple jobs (like I do), focus on the one that is most likely to be burning you out.

Take the test here.

In case you're wondering, I scored a 105, which means I'm pretty well burnt out at my engineering job. Of the 6 warning signs, I've hit 5 of them.

Let's Make a Movie!

2005-09-27T16:22:00.000-05:00

Whenever I get around to finishing my Midtown saga (so far I only have Act 1), I think I may turn it into a movie... or at least a screenplay or something. Gonna have to figure out how to put it on screen -- live-action, or computer animation, or clay animation...? It has to have the visual element to really work (I have storyboards and camera angles floating around in my head), so a radio play wouldn't cut it (though I still have a radio play that I was working on years and years ago). Might even be able to get away with no dialogue -- action only (you know, since pigeons and squirrels can't talk). Or I could do a silly Monty Python-esque version.

I'm definitely gonna have to come up with some better character names if I develop the story further. I'm thinking it's going to evolve into a twist on West Side Story, to go along with the plethora of other Romeo and Juliet adaptations, but with my own creative spin.

Oh, to have the time to finish such an undertaking!

Phun With Photoshop®

2005-09-26T15:56:00.000-05:00

What would you do if you encountered one of these?

Do you feel lucky, punk?

2005-09-16T15:24:00.000-05:00

I'm bored. It's Friday, it's almost time to go home, I finished my work 3 days ahead of schedule.

La-dee-dah...

Hm-hm-hmmm-hm-hmmm-hmm....


<twiddle>
  <finger digit="thumb" hand="left"/>
  <finger digit="thumb" hand="right"/>
</twiddle>

Ooo! Shiny!

It's Official: I Think Too Hard

2005-09-06T14:13:00.000-05:00

Yes, I think too hard. Call it force-of-habit -- six years of habit. All that computer science training made me into a coder who thinks too hard. Don't worry, I'll explain.

I've been charged with enhancing a particular function of our software product. After three days of fiddling around with a state diagram, then 2 days of fiddling around with a thread timing diagram, I finally stumbled upon an elegant solution. However, in the design two threads are joined at the elbow, which doesn't allow for proper modularization and reusability of the code. So I have to find a way to decouple the threads, which I might be able to do now.

The solution probably should have been much simpler, and probably should have been done by now. But leave it to my guru status to try to design this code properly.

<sigh/>

UPDATE: 6 Sept 2005, 16:29: And after all that, the stupid API calls don't even work right. So for all those state diagrams and thread timing diagrams, I have pretty pictures.

The Further Adventures of Carrot Boy

2005-09-01T13:44:00.000-05:00

So I'm standing in the kitchen of the coffee shop, running down my mental checklist of things I need to do this morning. I look up, and there's the little red-headed German woman standing in the door.

Me: in shock, frantically trying to figure out what's going on Uh, hi.

She blows me a kiss.

Me: still in shock, confusedly smiling Um, thanks...?
Her: Are you making carrot cake?
Me: Um, well, not right now.
Her: pouts
Me: But there's still some out there, and there's carrot muffins, too.
Her: smiling ear-to-ear So I can have an orgasmic experience later today?
Self: Whaaaa? pause Oh! Smile and nod! Smile and nod, dang it!
Me: *blink* *blink* Uh, yeah.

Then she turned, and bounced away, clapping and giggling all the while.

Me: *blink* *blink* Uh... ... ...What just happened here?
Coworker: dutifully controlling own laughter Different culture.
Me: *blink* *blink* I guess....

Also, apparently, on Sunday while I was at the hoe-down, everyone else went to dinner and were discussing how to market me. "Award-Winning Chef!" "Award-Winning Carrot Cake!" After this morning's incident, the coworker who witnessed the whole interchange said, "Award-Winning, Orgasmic Carrot Cake!" Hey, this is a family establishment! <sigh/>

Hoe-Down and Bake-Off

2005-08-28T21:37:00.000-05:00

In honour of its 5th year of existence, my church had a "hoe-down" tonight. A "hoe-down" is an American Southwest thing... typically it's a massive gathering of friends and family in an outdoor setting, complete with food (usually grilled items and chili, as well as pot-luck style items), games, dancing, and music. Like a barbecue or picnic. One of the events of this hoe-down was a pie and cake bake-off, essentially a pastry competition.

Last week I asked if there are any rules to the bake-off. The reply was that there are no rules. Bake to impress. Naturally, I was hesitant to enter, having a significant advantage over any competitor in the presentation judging. But eventually I got talked into it. I entered this:

The type of cake should be self-evident. And yes, that's a lady bug hanging out on the one stem.

It turned out I had a meeting to go to (mandatory for all coffee shop employees -- "Espresso 101"), so I didn't make it to the hoe-down till about halfway through. I had a friend be my proxy, and present the cake for judging on my behalf. By the time I was able to get there, the cake had been completely annihilated. All that was left was the cake board, some "soil" (pulverized "creme-filled chocolate sandwich cookies" -- I had a lot of fun pounding them with a solid maple rolling pin), and the pot itself.

I'd done this type of carrot cake presentation before, but not to this level of sophistication. I suppose this is now my signature "fancy-pants" carrot cake presentation. This iteration features a fondant covering for the "carrot" part, and flower paste for the stems and lady bug. Internal structural supports of 18-gauge floral wire allowed the stems to stand straight up. The cake is 99% edible, with the other 1% being the structural supports. In a way, this was a melding of engineering and culinary arts.

Oh yeah, I took 1st Place. The prize was a silicone spatula and an apron from William-Sonoma (both very nice items), though unfortunately I wasn't there to accept them. It was all a lot of fun. :-)

UPDATE: 29 Aug 2005, 10:47: Also, apparently there was some debate as to whether I should be allowed to enter. I bet I get banned as a competitor next year, and be relegated to judging. That's no fun. ;-)

Engineering vs. Culinary Arts

2005-08-22T10:14:00.000-05:00

I've been doing a lot of thinking over the last 4 weeks. It seems in the debate between myself and me, we have reached an impass.

On the one hand, engineering is a pretty posh setup. You go in, you sit at a desk, and you tickle little cleverly arranged pieces of plastic all day. And they pay you out the wazoo to do so. Sometimes you go from tickling the plastic pieces to massaging them, and sometimes you pound them through the desk. Usually it's calm, but never relaxing. Being what amounts to a grunt (because your project management is severly abusing your position as one of the most competent people on the team), you don't get a lot of exposure to customers, and not that I really want any exposure to customers because if I really told them what goes on in our labs, they wouldn't buy a cent's worth of our product. And all we ever seem to hear from our customers is, "Hey, this is broken!" and "We need it to do this, and we need it now!" I get enough of that from our QA people.

On the other hand, culinary arts provides more immediate job satisfaction (or even job satisfaction at all). You bake something, you put it out on display, and people come in and try your new recipe, and they rave about it while standing in line waiting for their coffee to come up. You see the regulars come in every morning, and a lot of them come in looking for something new, something different. "Here, try this new recipe." "MmmmmMMMMmmmm!" Or, "You make the carrot cake, right? That carrot cake is SOOOO good!" I smile and humbly say, "Thank you!" and the customer walks away with a cup of coffee and a smile on their face, and I saunter back to the kitchen thinking, "Yeah, baby! I made somebody happy! I made a difference in somebody's life!" The downside, unfortunately, is that it pays next to nothing. Oh, that it were a profitable scheme!

So in the end, would I sacrifice happiness for financial security? Or do I follow a dream and live in poverty? Woe is me!

I'm still a geek though. Once a geek, always a geek (or something like that).

On Fame

2005-08-07T23:23:00.000-05:00

I seem to have become somewhat of a celebrity... at least in the world of carrot cake connoisseurs. People are flocking to the coffee shop to get a slice of my carrot cake. Last Friday, I think it was, the "Scone Lady", who usually buys the blueberry scones, bought what was left of the carrot cake in the pastry case. Yesterday (Saturday), I made a fresh carrot cake in the morning, and by day's end there was but one slice left. When you calculate out the actual cost of the cake, it pays for itself after about 4 or 5 slices. At 8 slices per cake (which will become 10 or 12 slices per cake tomorrow -- the slices were too big), we're making a pretty good killing just on carrot cake.

My blueberry scones seem to be selling well too. Before I started making scones, we used to struggle to sell two a day. Now I make 8 every morning and they're pretty much sold out by the end of the day. Those probably pay for themselves after 4 or 5 scones.

And my chocolate chip cookies seem to be selling better than the ones we used to get, though they're not exactly flying off the display rack like the carrot cake or scones.

Those of you who have known me the longest, you get the distinction of being among the first to experience my now-famous carrot cake.

Funny story: I went to a boat party tonight with the coffee shop folks, at which I was being introduced to people as "the new chef at the coffee shop." This one woman, a little redhead with a happy little German accent, exclaims, "You're the chef!!" then proceeds to throw herself bodily on me and hug me as Germans do, I guess. Normally I'm OK with people hugging me. That's a pretty normal thing to do. Well, she didn't stop there. She then proceeds to jump into my lap, at which point my "face turned into a tomato," mostly from shock and surprise, and partly from embarrassment of suddenly being the center of attention and having this German woman sitting in my lap. Of course this was mere moments after I was relaying to a co-worker how I am an extreme introvert. Most people I've met just say, "Your carrot cake is amazing," or "I nearly cried when I tasted your carrot cake." No one had tried to sit in my lap, until tonight. I've even had women say to me that men who cook are very attractive, followed promptly by, "Are you single?" and usually accompanied by somewhat flirtatious eye contact.

I guess I'm going to have to get used to this....

Somebody Stole My Baking Soda!!

2005-07-29T12:56:00.000-05:00

Yes, somebody stole my baking soda. In case you wondered how much drama can happen in the kitchen of a coffee shop, there you go.

I was making chocolate chip cookies this morning. Flour? Check. Salt? Check. Baking powder? Check. Baking soda? ... Baking soda? ... "Hey, where's the baking soda? Sombody stole my baking soda!" A co-worker and I spent a good 5 minutes looking in every nook and cranny in the kitchen for the baking soda (mind you, the kitchen is quite small). We checked the refrigerators (even the ones up front), and the mop sink. No baking soda. I used it on Tuesday. The best I can figure is that someone broke in during the night and made off with my baking soda. I eventually ran to the grocery store a couple doors over and picked up a box of baking soda so I could finish my cookies.

12 Hours

2005-07-25T21:49:00.000-05:00

Speaking of second jobs, I have one now.

Not that I need the cash or anything.

Though having the extra cash will be nice.

I've been recruited to be the head pastry chef at a coffee shop... well, I'm "head pastry chef" by virtue of being the only pastry chef. I get business cards that list my title as "Pastry Chef". (They asked what I wanted on it, so I told them.) ;-)

I started this job this morning at 5am. It's amazing how alert I actually was a 4am when my alarm went off. And then it was amazing how alert I was at 9:30am when I went to my regular job. By 3pm I was fading fast, but a quick 5-minute Power Nap™ during a long software install fixed that. Then when I got home at 6pm, another 5-minute Power Nap™ recharged me for the evening's chores. And all that on 3 hours of sleep! (Long story.)

"So what do you do?"

"By day I'm a mild-mannered (though slightly short-tempered) software engineer, and by night (which is actually very early morning) I'm a pastry chef."

Oh yeah... the final 3 months of culinary school is an internship, so I'm hoping and praying for an internship in Hawaii. Be sure to come visit me in Hawaii. :-)

"PC Load Letter?! What the f--- does that mean?!"

2005-07-18T14:54:00.000-05:00

"Printer continues to jam. Service call will be placed. Broken parts to printer!! Thank You"

Nice. Very nice.

UPDATE: 25 July 2005 10:58: So the particular printer pictured now works, but its best buddy immediately to its left is now hosed. I think they're teaming up on us to tick us off. And they're doing a marvelous job of it. Oh, and someone attached an addendum to the original note: "Service call WILL be escalated!!" Italics and everything. No joke!

UPDATE: 12 Aug 2005 12:41: They finally replaced the printers. Both of them. One speedy new printer takes their places. We'll see how long it lasts. And if you send your print jobs to one of the old printers' queues, the jobs seem to go into the bit bucket. You'd think they'd have disabled the old print queues.

Mushroom-Provolone-Wit'!

2005-07-10T20:48:00.000-05:00

I got back from Philadelphia a few hours ago. It was nice to get out of town, to a place I've never been, if even for a just a few days, most of which were spent flying. My cousin, about a month younger than me, got married. I'm told the bride's family are pretty hard-core party animals. It was quite evident at the reception. Fun nonetheless. And it was really great to see relatives I haven't seen in 2 years or more. I can't even remember the last time I saw the one cousin. He thinks it may have been high school. High school was a looooong time ago. I don't think it was that long ago. College maybe.

While we were having a family reunion of sorts in the Philadelphia suburbs, we managed to locate three highly recommended restaurants serving authentic Philly Cheesesteak Sandwiches: Enzo's Italian Eatery, Geno's Steaks, and Pat's King of Steaks. Of the three, Geno's and Pat's have an ongoing rivalry between themselves claiming to have invented the cheesesteak sandwich, and claiming to serve the best sandwich. Of the three, I personally like Enzo's best. Their bread is tastier, and they cram more meat into the sandwich. Neither Geno's nor Pat's are really anything to shout about. I guess it's more of the experience for the casual tourist. For the locals, Geno's and Pat's are staples, and on Saturday nights seem to be the hang-out. I write to you now toting several extra pounds' worth of cheesesteak sandwiches tucked away around my rotund mid-section. It worth the extra pounds. :-)

On the way to Geno's and Pat's on Saturday night, we drove through central Philadelphia, around the Independence Hall/Market Street area. On Saturday night, there seemed to be something going on that I can only describe as resembling Freaknik.

[Disclaimer: To maintain the family-friendly atmosphere here, I will not link to any external information about Freaknik, nor will I recommend searching about it on your favorite search engine. You have been warned.]

For those of you who went with me on my high school band trip to Atlanta, you'll remember Freaknik '94. Basically, while all the preppie frat boys and sorority girls are boozing it up on the beach for Spring Break, African-American college students from all across the U.S. converge on a few locations, the chief of which being Atlanta, Georgia. My high school band had the interesting fortune of being housed in the middle of Downtown Atlanta in the Spring of 1994, right in the middle of Freaknik. Unaware, we were in our rooms in the hotel watching the news, and someone blurts out, "Hey, I think that's our hotel!" So we go to the window, and lo and behold, there's Freaknik '94 in the streets below. We saw a milder scene: inebriated people being wild and crazy, traffic gridlocked for miles. No doubt there were all kinds of debauchery and wantonness happening elsewhere in the city.

So, central Philadelphia last Saturday night kind of reminded me of Freaknik. We were fine, though, 'cuz I's down wit' da homies, yo. We eventually found Geno's and Pat's and had ourselves a nice midnight snack of Philly Cheesesteak Sandwiches. "Mushroom-provolone-wit'!" (That's a steak sandwich with mushrooms, provolone and onions, for those of you who don't speak Pat's lingo.)

Oh, and it was my cousin, the one getting married, that asked, "So when's it your turn?" to which I promptly replied, "Oh, I'm taking my time!"

It's OK, I'm a Professional

2005-07-05T00:11:00.000-05:00

I got my first two paid commissions as a pastry chef last week, designing two birthday cakes. Challenging they were, but most definitely fun.

Sam's cake kind of came on the heels of Laura's cake (pro bono) from the week before. So I borrowed some ideas.

Lauren's cake is loosely inspired by a somewhat generic china pattern.

I really wanted to make a set of "teacupcakes" and a teapot for Lauren's design (tea party theme), but I wasn't sure how much creative freedom I had with it, not to mention how much the customer was willing to pay, so I went more traditional. My "agent" also seems to be pushing fondant as the covering of choice. I'm not complaining, but it does cost about $7 to cover a 9-inch layer cake with fondant, not counting any other fondant pieces (for example 18 pink and purple flowers).

I'd really like to try out the "teacupcakes" concept, so if anyone's planning a tea party and would be willing to pay an extra premium for art disguised as dessert, I'd like to talk to you. :-) The entire "tea set" would probably be able to provide dessert for about 20-25 people. And if you have a particular china pattern you'd like to lend me for inspiration, that'd be even cooler. And actually, there are pastry chef competitions in which a piece of china is selected/provided, and the chef must design a cake inspired by the china pattern. My friends seem to think I'm going to become some world-renowned, international celebrity of a pasty chef. We'll see.... ;-)

In the process of creating these two cakes, I remembered why I enjoy this so much: it's all about putting a smile on someone's face, whether a smile of wonderment, or excitement, or something in between. When I'm engineering software no one ever says to me, "Hey, man, great code! I love it!" But hearing about the face of a little girl named Sam light up at the sight of her pink and purple cake makes me feel satisfied and fulfilled, like I made a difference in somebody's life, if even for a brief, fleeting moment in the Grand Timeline.

Forever and a Day

2005-06-28T10:12:00.000-05:00

Seems like such a long time since I last posted. It's only been 12 days. That's a lot better than my personal journal. I think I had a gap of two years in there once. So now that I have a break from the drudgeries of work, I thought I'd drop some random stuff in here.

I'm looking forward to taking vacation all next week. I'm not planning on going anywhere until late in the week, at which time I will be flying to Philly for my cousin's wedding, at which I fully expect to hear questions from relatives ranging from "So when are you getting married?" to "Do you have a girlfriend?" to "Want me to hook you up?" Hm... sounds just like the last family wedding I went to... and the one before that.... I should probably find my suit and tie.

I wouldn't be surprised at all if I spontaneously took a road trip somewhere -- somewhere I haven't been, or haven't been to in a while. Maybe I'll go to Barbados. Hm... gonna need a passport.... I should at least get out of the city. Tubing? Hiking? Vegas! ;-) I wish I had a friend in New York City. I'd like to go back there. I liked Manhattan and Queens and upstate when I was there about 10 years ago. I'm curious how the atmosphere and ambience has changed since then. Besides, they have good Chinese food.

Hm... maybe I can get a crew together to take a day trip down to the Chinatown in the next city over. I grew up (literally) on the Chinese food there. It's my comfort food. Mmm... Chinese food.... I'm getting hungry already.

Computer Sentience

2005-06-16T14:01:00.000-05:00

My theory is that all computer cables are actually living beings, disguised as transporters of electrical impulses, and their only goal in life is to get together with other computer cables and tangle themselves up in each other in an effort to annoy us. They are neither predators, nor prey. They have no "natural" sentience or thought processes. They are biologically programmed to manoeuver themselves in such a way that attempting to separate them results in a tangled mass that is not unlike a Chinese finger puzzle.

With all this talk about artificial intellegence, neural networks, and machine learning, I think a huge trove of knowledge lies within the fauna under our desks. By studying their movements and behaviours, perhaps we can gain some significant insight into how to truly acheive machine sentience.

Maybe I can get a government grant to study this....

Slow March to the Grave

2005-06-02T00:08:00.000-05:00

It's June. It's already June. My birthday is in less than two weeks. I'm definitely not looking forward to turning 27. This year is pivotal because I'm moving from "mid-20s" to "late-20s". Then 30 is just around the corner, then 40, then 60, then 90, then it's time to go! Ack!

I just hope I don't forget this year like I did last year. I'd hate to have "late-20s" sneak up on me and whack me on the back of my head like it almost did last year. I woke up the morning of my birthday last year, a Saturday, and the phone rang. One of my best friends was on the other end. The conversation went something like this:

Him: "Hey, whatcha doin' today?"
Me: "Uh... ... ... I'm not workin' today so I don't have anything planned."
Him: "We wanna take you out to lunch."
Me: "Huh?"
Him: "You know, for your birthday."
Me: "Wha?"
Him: "Today's your birthday. We wanna take you out to lunch for your birthday."
Me: "... ... ... ... ... Aw crap...!"

Though I must say the resulting salmon tacos were well worth the shock of suddenly turning 26.

UPDATE: 2005 Jun 12, 21:44: I'm freaking old! I'm still a genius, but now I'm an old genius.

Michiba vs. Sakai

2005-05-31T09:58:00.000-05:00

Who would win this epic battle?

On the one hand, Rokusaburo Michiba was named the Iron Chef World Cup 1995 Champion, defeating Chef Vissani in Battle Duck. His philosophy was that cooking has no borders, meaning that he would draw inspiration from all world cuisines in his cooking, especially when faced by widely varied challengers during his tenure as Iron Chef Japanese. He would often bring in flavors and techniques from French, Italian, and Chinese into his own Japanese cooking, and all during the same battle. A testament to this guru status is apparent in Battle Foie Gras, in which he prepared several dishes using the classic French ingredient, foie gras, in the very Japanese-style dishes. Genius? Yes!

On the other hand, Hiroyuki Sakai was named King of the Iron Chefs in 1999, defeating his dear friend Iron Chef Chen Kenichi for the title. Sakai, though principally a French chef, using French techniques in Japanese cooking, also often expanded his repretoire to include hints of Chinese cuisine in his many battles (courtesy of Chef Chen). The winningest of all the Iron Chefs (something like 86 wins to 6 losses), he is often called "the Delacroix of French Cuisine" for his magificently elegant presentations, and supposedly he has never lost a fish battle.

Post a comment, cast your vote!

Ahh, Summer...

2005-05-22T23:49:00.000-05:00

Summer is well on its way into Town. We're getting into the mid-90s for the daytime highs, and the lows are hovering around the muggy mid-70s. The Sun beats down on everything its light touches. The smell of hot asphalt wafting up from the office parking lot takes me back to my high school marching band days, and the seemingly endless after school rehersals in the school parking lot.

Ahh, Summer.... Wait, wasn't it just Spring?

"Keep Up the Good Work"

2005-05-22T23:28:00.000-05:00

Five tiny little words. It takes about three seconds to spit them out. All are single-syllable. Though terse, they have a definite capacity for evoking pride of craftsmanship, and they give voice to tacit appreciation. So why is it so hard to say them? As easy as it is to dispense positive morale and self-esteem with five simple words, you'd think people would be edifying each other like there's no tomorrow. But alas, the very visible efforts of dozens of engineers continue to go unrecognized, just as they have for the last two years.

The most capable soldiers of the army fight on the very front lines of coporate business, but ammunition runs low, and there's no one behind them to resupply. All the while, the least capable soldiers complain about their lumpy matresses, and receive new ones. Why? Because their plight is directly viewable by the battalion commanders. The battle, however, is fought and won (or lost) on the front lines.

What does it take to get a pat on the back? Or a "Keep up the good work"? Apparently, it takes more than what we are doing now, which is practically everything. Unfortunately, we're already at the physical limit of our capacity for useful work. And of course, budget cuts mean staff cuts mean burn-out.

Behold My Genius!

2005-05-10T14:56:00.000-05:00

I am a genius. I am a freaking genius.

A year and a half ago, in my Enlightened foresight, I wrote a small application for the Pocket PC which acts as an HTTP client, retrieving a URL from a server and capturing the status code from the response header. I designed it smartly, and modularized it like I always do. Just today, I'm working on a proof-of-concept application, and hm... I could really use a simple HTTP client right here.... Where's that code...? Oh, here it is. Hm, let's see... I could just copy-paste this function over... a few minor adjustments.... Voila! Instant HTTP client! Total lines of code copied: 24. Total time spent: 15 minutes. Watching my peers' faces as I accomplish in 15 minutes what should have taken a day: priceless.

Kids these days don't seem to understand the true value of well-written code. Even more unfortunate, a lot of people who have been around for a long time still don't understand the true value of well-written code, nor can they write it. A lot of times, it's like the blind leading the blind.

And speaking of which, it's almost Intern Season here at Unnamed Technology Company. In the next several weeks, there will be masses of people hanging out in front of the Badging Office, waiting for their millstones -- er, I mean, security badges.

UPDATE: 2005 May 12, 2:09am: I realize I may sound arrogant and a bit full of myself. Well, I'll take any opportunity to boost my morale and self-esteem, especially since most of that has been stripped away by all the mindless toils of fixing other people's coding errors and bad code design. Mind you, in the 1 million lines of code of my project at work, I wrote from scratch 1000 of them, and had but 2 bugs reported on them, both user interface feature requests. If that's not Enlightened code, then I don't know what is.

Bake Sale!

2005-04-30T18:27:00.000-05:00

There was this carrot, see, and I put it on top of my carrot cake, then the carrot exploded!

And then there was this Italian cream cake with some weird stuff on it....

Crazy Norwegians

2005-04-22T10:12:00.000-05:00

It's my professional opinion that Norwegians are goofy.

* * * * * * *
From: http://www.opera.com/pressreleases/en/2005/04/21/

The one million download challenge of Opera 8:
Opera's CEO will swim from Norway to the USA

Oslo, Norway - April 21, 2005

An overly excited Jon S. von Tetzchner, CEO, Opera Software, today proclaimed at an internal company meeting that if the download numbers of the new Opera 8 Web browser reach 1 million within the first four days of the launch, he will swim from Norway to the USA with only one stop-over for a cup of hot chocolate at his mother's house in his home country, Iceland. Opera's communications department could obviously not resist to make such a bold and inarguably over-confident statement public.

. . .

"I am not sure he realizes how cold the Norwegian Sea is in April," says Anne Stavnes, Human Resource Manager, Opera Software. "However, having seen Jon in his red beach attire before, I am not sure if swimming to the USA is scarier than exposing people to this sight."

. . .
* * * * * * *

UPDATE: 2005 Apr 26, 15:34:Though a gallant effort, Opera Software CEO, Jon S. von Tetzchner, didn't quite make it to the U.S. Just off the coast of Norway, the "chase raft" containing Opera PR Manager, Eskil Sivertsen, sprung a leak, requiring von Tetzchner to rescue Sivertsen from the icy waters. With the raft deflating, the attempt was aborted, and both men made it safely back to shore.

http://www.opera.com/swim/

Non-elastic Collisions

2005-04-20T13:35:00.000-05:00

We're coming back to work from lunch, and while we're waiting for the light to turn, there's this pickup truck that's pulled himself into the middle of the road, somewhat illegally. That's fine. Maybe a cop comes by and gives him a citation for obstucting traffic or something. Well, upon closer inspection of his vehicle from 20 m away, we see a freaking huge dent (literally 60 cm across, and 1 m tall) right in the side of the truck. So he's probably done this sort of thing before, and someone hit him in the side. Fine.

Well, the light turns, then turns red again before we get there. And right next to us at the light is that truck. I'm trying to see who this guy is, and -- What?! There's another dent, just as big, on the other side of the truck, in pretty much the exact same place! The guy driving our car inches up to get a look at the driver of the truck. He's chowing down on what looks like a quesadilla-type food item. Whatever, dude. At least he wasn't driving, eating, and talking on a cell phone all at the same time, though that's really not that much worse.

My guess is he has a history of bad driving and collisions. Mental note: stay away from this guy when you see him on the road.

On Smoking

2005-04-19T23:40:00.001-05:00

I just got back from hanging out with a bunch of friends at a pub downtown tonight. We sat outside under the mostly clear skies and faint stars hovering over the skyline. A few of my friends were passing around a cigarette. The sights and smells of the cigarette launched a flurry of memories flooding back from days gone by.

I was instantly taken back to when I was a wee lad, about 8 years old. My grandfather used to smoke 3 to 4 cigarettes a day (moderate by most standards), and he would always take one around 9pm on the back porch, then head off to bed. Even in the summer the sun was completely set by 9pm, so it was very dark on that porch. There would be a chair out there in which he would sit and enjoy his cigarette. I would go out there and climb into his lap, and we'd just sit there for however long the cigarette lasted. When it got down to the filter, he would throw the butt into a small flower pot that held a small amount of water.

The smell of the second-hand smoke and old, wet cigarette butts, and the gentle glow of the cigarette always remind me of him. Somehow, he's lived to be 101 years old, and he has the strength and health to keep going. No cancer, no emphysema, no smoker's cough. It's weird. And apparently 4 years ago (at age 97) he quit. Cold turkey. He's one of my most favourite people in the world.